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This is kind of an interesting one. I've been dating this…

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This is kind of...

This is kind of an interesting one. I've been dating this girl for a few months now and things seemed like they were going well. The only problem is/was we live a few hours away from each other. Not only that but our schedules don't always match up. I work full time and she goes to school and works as well. We try to make time for each other when we can, but it's few and far between. This means we've had to rely on our phones (primarily texting) in order to keep in touch. We've been texting pretty much every day; not long conversations but short casual ones. Lately though, I feel like my texting has been bothering her. I've asked a few times if it was and she said 'no' but I feel like we've grown a bit more distant. I know she's busy but I don't want to push her away. I'm really confused and don't know what to do.

Expert's Assistant: The Psychologist will know what to do. Is there anything else the Psychologist should be aware of?

No that's pretty much it.

Submitted: 11 months ago.Category: Relationship
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Answered in 9 hours by:
10/5/2017
Counselor: John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC) replied 11 months ago
John-Michaels
John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1,033
Experience: 25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
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Hello, my name is***** don’t you test her and see how things go if you follow her lead? In other words, don’t text her unless she texts you. Do that for a couple weeks or so and see how it goes. Does that make sense?
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Customer reply replied 11 months ago
it does, but I worry that she might think I've lost interest in her. She told me she enjoys us texting every day and I don't know if backing off will make things better or worse. I really don't want to lose her or push her away even more.
Counselor: John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC) replied 11 months ago
How often are you texting her now?
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Customer reply replied 11 months ago
We were texting every day for the most part, usually just in the mornings and evenings but occasionally throught the day. Sometimes I would send the first text and sometimes she would. I recently backed off a little to see what she might do but I don't know.
Counselor: John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC) replied 11 months ago
I would announce my intentions. Tell her you care for her very much, but you don’t want to be a bother. Tell her you are goi g to let her take the lead. You really enjoy her company, but for a while at least you are going to back off and text only when she texts you. I know that sounds risky, but if she doesn’t text you, you haven’t lost anything you didn’t have already. I know that isn’t what you want to head, but doesn’t it make sense?
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Customer reply replied 11 months ago
It does make sense, and I've already asked her a few times if I was bothering her, which she said I wasn't. She said she likes hearing from me throughout the day. This is what's confusing. Despite the fact she likes hearing from me, our texting has been more spaced out and infrequent. I don't know if it's something I did or what. But it's been driving me crazy.
Counselor: John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC) replied 11 months ago
I still say back off a bit and give her a chance to prove her love for you. Right now it sounds like you are doing all the work in this relationship.
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Customer reply replied 11 months ago
Do you think I should call her and ask what's going on? Or would that be too direct?
Counselor: John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC) replied 11 months ago
I really don’t think he can burt anything currently. I have your more what Standard you were Setting for yourself. Do you really want somebody that you have to chase to be yours?
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Counselor: John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC) replied 11 months ago
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