Relationship

Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Relationship

I was with my ex for 4 years. We broke up and got into

Customer Question
different relationships. They ended. It's...
I was with my ex for 4 years. We broke up and got into different relationships. They ended. It's been 4 years since we were last together. She started to tell me she wanted to settle down and have a family and we started to rekindle our relationship. We go on dates. We have not been intimate yet. I have changed alot to make this work, fixing what was wrong the previous time we tried. But she still goes on dates with other blokes and stuff like that even tho we had decided to go on dates to see if we could rekindle our relationship. She invites me over and we cuddle then I won't hear from her for like a week. I feel like I'm being kept as a second option, when ever I raise a drama she just says that we're not in a relationship and if it's going to happen it'll happen. I keep asking her to make up her mind and she says that I can't give her a time frame on it, understandably, but if you were considering getting back with someone wouldn't you not look around for another bloke? I just want someone to agree with me that she is playing me so I can pick her ass to the curb. Any advice would be awesome. Cheers.
Submitted: 2 months ago.Category: Relationship
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Answered in 22 minutes by:
9/15/2017
Counselor: TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor replied 2 months ago
TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5,856
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
Verified

Hello, I'd like to help you with your problem.

It sounds like there could be two things going on with your ex. One, she could be afraid to commit. Without being able to talk to her, this is hard to judge. But it is possible she is hurt by your relationship or another one she was in and right now she is avoiding committing to any relationship to avoid getting hurt. If you cannot tell if she is afraid to commit, you can try asking her. See if she is willing to discuss it.

However, given what you describe, it is more likely she is looking at your relationship in a very casual way, possibly to see if any other relationship works out. So you may be correct in saying she is keeping your relationship as a second option. In that case, she is seeing your relationship very much from her own perspective and not considering your feelings in her decisions. That is not a good sign. Relationships need to be a two way street in order to work.

Whatever the case may be with your ex, your feelings about her and the relationship matter. And because she is refusing to consider your feelings, she leaves you no choice but to put your own needs first. In that case, you may need to look at this relationship and ask yourself if this is what you want. Are you getting your needs met? Is this relationship going in the direction you want it to? Explore your wants and needs and see if this relationship is fitting into them. If not, then it may be a good time to end it and move on. You can also make a list of the good and bad of the relationship based on what you want out of it. That can often help you see more clearly if this relationship is for you, or if you should end it.

I hope this has helped you,

Mary Ann

May I please request that if you find the service I provided helpful at all that you rate me with three or above? Your rating is the only way I am reimbursed for my answer. Thank you so much!

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Counselor: TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor replied 2 months ago
THIS ANSWER IS LOCKED!
You can view this answer by clicking here to Register or Login and paying $3.
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Ask TherapistMaryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5,856
5,856 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

TherapistMaryAnn is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Counselor

5,856 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Ms Chase

Ms Chase

Life Coach

853 satisfied customers

Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Psychotherapist

468 satisfied customers

Specializing in relationship/family counseling

Dr. Norman Brown

Dr. Norman Brown

Marriage Therapist

426 satisfied customers

Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

366 satisfied customers

Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.

Suzanne

Suzanne

Therapist, LCSW

338 satisfied customers

Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

DrJackiePhD

DrJackiePhD

Doctor

336 satisfied customers

I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

< Previous | Next >

Related Relationship Questions
What is the proper way for a widower to introduce his girl
What is the proper way for a widower to introduce his girl friend to his mother in law? … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
165 satisfied customers
What's the fastest, healthiest way to process through grief
What's the fastest, healthiest way to process through grief during an ongoing, dragged out divorce? What's the best way to keep esteem high if the other party is highly negative, miserable, depressed,… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
165 satisfied customers
I fell in love with a woman that has emotional baggage and
I fell in love with a woman that has emotional baggage and is not ready to give her hart right now … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
165 satisfied customers
Back on 7/28/2012, I requested that with me today to see if
Dear psychlady, Back on 7/28/2012, I requested that you follow up with me today to see if my issue was resolved. If I give you a positive rating for this follow-up, JustAnswer will pay you since it's … read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master\u0027s Degree
3,517 satisfied customers
I hope this doesn't sound bad, but it will, lol! I am
Jen, I hope this doesn't sound bad, but it will, lol ! I am continuing to date him but he knows I am not as committed as him in the relationship and that I am bothered by his pushiness and do not have… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
950 satisfied customers
The guy who came to my house on a second date is asking to
Hi Jen The guy who came to my house on a second date is asking to spend time with me again on the weekend. I did not yet reply. He said that this time he will bring his guitar. I am confused. I have m… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
950 satisfied customers
I hope for you. The catalyst that brought me to a decision
Jen , Good day I hope for you. The catalyst that brought me to a decision (the final straw) to end my marriage was when my husband was plotting to buy an investment property with my oldest son without… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
950 satisfied customers
I am almost 58 and had been date a 24 girl, she was really
I am almost 58 and had been date a 24 girl, she was really into me, fun and funny, with were good frieds as well. she always wanted to be psychical but a fought. I believe she had some separetion anlg… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
165 satisfied customers
10 years ago I met this man. He is still in my life. He's..
Hello. :) 10 years ago I met this man. He is still in my life. He's Joe. I'm Carmen. He asked for a sign from God. The next day we got a street sign "JOE and CARMEN" 10 years goes by. I joined the Arm… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
165 satisfied customers
Over the weekend she liked a lightning compilation video I
Hi Jen :)Over the weekend she liked a lightning compilation video I made from the video captured on my drone, so I gather she is saying she is still around... Got really excited on Friday night as I f… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
950 satisfied customers
I have OCD, depression, eating disorder. I used to not be
I have OCD, depression, eating disorder. I used to not be able to have family or friends over unless I was my perfect self. That would mean eating good and on my low weight side and active. I started … read more
TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn
Counselor
5,856 satisfied customers
Whenever I get drunk I have urges to cheat on my partner, by
Whenever I get drunk I have urges to cheat on my partner, by thinking about using prostitution … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
165 satisfied customers
Dumped my boyfirend yesterday. Basically he was replying my
Basically he was replying my messages so late, whenever I call he says I will call you back and he doesn't, he says his busys but doesn't tell me? Yesterday when I said we need to be frends he said you know we won't be friends and he also said we are not meant to be together … read more
matt50025002
matt50025002
Owner of a waste management company
Master\u0027s Degree
118 satisfied customers
I promissed an update! Well here it is. So yesterday she
Hey,I promissed an update! Well here it is.So yesterday she cancelled the date because she was tierd (what she told me). And she told me that we can go out today, and a moment ago I asked her when we … read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
Question for Female Therapist. - Thanks for re-connecting
[Second opinion] Question for Female Therapist. - Thanks for re-connecting with me. In my last letter (Oct 27),I indicated that Ro had said "hi" and started to say, "Harv how have you bee....."but the… read more
TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn
Counselor
5,856 satisfied customers
I am in a bit of s spot I talk to guys on the internet and I
I am in a bit of s spot I talk to guys on the internet and I have two guys that like me a lot. And they both decided to come home at the same time just s day apart should I tell them about each other … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
950 satisfied customers
My problem is about a relationship in which I m into from
Hi, My problem is about a relationship in which I m into from past 1 year. I am married and she is also married but currently she is staying away from her husband though they meet each other occasiona… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
165 satisfied customers
I just ran into my ex at the grocery store. It's been a
I just ran into my ex at the grocery store. It's been a year. He stood behind me in line at the check out. I ignored him. I totally broke down afterward. I know i still have feelings for him. But he t… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
950 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x