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I've been dating this guy with Asperger's on and off for the…

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Hi there, I've been...

Hi there, I've been dating this guy with Asperger's on and off for the last year and a bit. We are both in our late 40's. He lived with a woman for 12 years and has been single (except for me) for the last 3 years. It was 7 months straight and then he ended things just before his 3 months off from work. He was sleeping with other people just 2 weeks after ending things (he told me). We just recently reconnected. I asked him over a month ago to get re-tested but he still hasn't - says he's "been busy with work so it will be another few weeks probably"...but because of the industry he works in, lots of gorgeous women...I feel like he's not wanting to because he wants to keep his options open. I know how lame this sounds but he frequently "likes" and "hearts" this beautiful woman's FB posts whom he met recently and he said he's gone for lunch with her too. He won't ever tell me honestly whether he wants to be with me only...he gets defensive if I bring it up, but he knows I don't want to risk getting an STI...we use protection so he asks me every time if I have a condom - which makes me think he just doesn't want to get tested so he can keep his options open. I know Aspie/NT relationships can be difficult to say the least. I adore this man because we have so much in common and he's kind and handsome. I accept him for who he is, but I want monogamy and he knows that yet...I think he is so surprised by the women who are interested in him these days since his newfound popularity with his career and his artistic talent - that he is just reveling in the attention of beautiful women instead of appreciating me because I am kind and patient and understanding.

Expert's Assistant: Is this your first time reaching out for information about this? In general, how would you describe your overall health?

Yes and good. I'm physically and mentally healthy. I know I scare him a bit with my need to process feelings (a normal amount with a non-aspie) I never expected to care for someone who has so much trouble communicating but I'm reading a lot about it and trying to be patient.

Submitted: 11 months ago.Category: Relationship
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Answered in 12 hours by:
9/7/2017
Counselor: DrJackiePhD, Doctor replied 11 months ago
DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD, Doctor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 431
Experience: I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.
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Hi, I'm Dr. Jackie, an interpersonal communication professor, relationship expert, and behavioral therapist. I want to try to help you, but am unsure if you want to speak to a psychologist type expert or a medical doctor? I'm not a medical doctor but a Ph.D. So please let me know if you want me to comment on this relationship or if you want to be re-directed to a medical professional?

Thanks,

Dr. Jackie

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