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Dr.G., Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1525
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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I am asking about my gf. We have dated for about two years.

Customer Question

Hello I am asking about my gf. We have dated for about two years. Last February her mom was diagnosed with cancer. The prognosis was not good. About a month after her moms diagnosis she tried to break up with me and told me she needed space. I was unsure what to do and did not want her to be alone while her mom was going through this. I fought for her and we remained in a relationship which grew closer up until the point her mom passed in July. I felt very close to her at this point and knew that she needed me and did not think that she would end our relationship again but in the one month since her moms passing she became very distant and has now broke up with me. She said that she realized this isn't going to work out and that we just don't see eye to eye. She says she still loves me but is not in love anymore. Over this passed month I feel we have argued more because I tried to help her and she would not respond. Her birthday was on monday and she broke things off with me on friday right before. I still love her very much and do not know what to do. I told her that i cannot be her friend because it would be too hard on me to be there as a friend and handle school. I am in dental school which has a very strict curriculum. I can't understand why she pushed me away and wonder if she will ever be ok. She is 27 now and I am 26.
JA: The Psychologist will know what to do. Is there anything else important you think the Psychologist should know?
Customer: she bought a puppy the day after her mom died and also just started a new job.
Submitted: 1 month ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 1 month ago.

Hi there. This sounds like a troubling situation. My first reaction is to believe that she is grieving. It seems that while she is grieving, she wants to be alone. This is probably the depression talking. Hopefully she is seeking some kind of professional help. This has probably been her way of coping with things since she was little is to push people away. I think what you are doing is a good course of action. You want to support her and be their for her, but not be overbearing. She may feel like things are rushing too fast between the two of you and so it is easier to push you away. I would like for you to have a talk with her to discuss her feelings about her mom, her job, and overall wellbeing. Additionally, I want you to talk to her about your feelings towards her. Let her know you are there to support her and help her through this. Don't push the issue of getting together. Be there for her and see where it goes. How does that sound?

Expert:  Dr.G. replied 1 month ago.

please don't forget to accept so I get credit for the answer.