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The same never married guy asked me to go to lunch after he…

Jen The same never married guy...

Jen
The same never married guy asked me to go to lunch after he left his job early today. I agreed. I also know he did not eat breakfast and he was likely to be hungry already before he got home. On the way home, his business partner asked him to go to the diner and eat. He must have agreed, called me back and asked me if we can just do drinks and an appetizer later as he decided to go with his business partner for lunch. He also told me so I wouldn't wait if I was hungry. I told him I am fine and drinks is perfect. (after all, this is a first meeting)
Underneath, I have mixed feelings about this. He must have been hungry already and couldn't wait. I get that. Yet, although I don't expect a lunch on the first date...he had already offered... If roles were reversed, I would have kept that agreement and not called back and say that his business partner asked him to go to the diner. I was gracious and drinks are less pressure under a first date anyway. Yet, it is the change in plans that turned me off for some reason and I am not quite sure why... lol

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Customer reply replied 5 years ago

Of course I said, I knew you didn't eat breakfast and so go eat lunch with your co worker and even just drinks later is perfect.As a side note... I am looking for red flags early on... why ? Because I really like his photo and my talks with him... just afraid of getting hurt by someone who I fancy already before meetinganother side note... yes, I do like your style and being a straight shooter. You are not afraid to be yourself, which is always an attractive quality

Answered in 7 minutes by:

8/24/2017

Counselor: TherapistJen, LCSW replied 5 years ago

TherapistJen, LCSW

Category: Relationship

Satisfied Customers: 6,477

Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker

Verified

I don't have an issue with him changing the lunch plan...it may be important that he goes with the business partner so try not to feel that he did the wrong thing. You are on for later and that was the plan so go with an open mind. I think you look for red flags because you are anxious and exited and this is all new for you in the last few months...let those feelings in and then let them go....even when you have the pre date jitters and look for red flags, you still manage to get yourself out there and go out with gusto...so the feelings are okay and they are not impeding you in any way.

TherapistJen, LCSW

Category: Relationship

Satisfied Customers: 6,477

Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker

Verified

TherapistJen and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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Customer reply replied 5 years ago

I see...I didn't think of it that way, so thank you. He is an employee of this other guy so you're right, it may be important and he wouldn't want to say no to his boss / owner. This particular guy I like very much from our talks and that doesn't happen to me often. Consequently, I am scared and looking for things so that I can avoid getting hurt or disappointed. Of course, that will not work. Perhaps it's my way of trying to self protect.
Okay, I will not let fear take me over and I will try to enjoy it all.
Thank you for staying by my side and being my voice of reason !!
I will

Counselor: TherapistJen, LCSW replied 5 years ago

Yes work first so I am good with all that.

Of course you want to protect yourself...you have been kept down for a long time but now you are free to enjoy it all. I am thrilled to be a support for you...always.

Let me know how it all goes tomorrow. HAVE FUN!

Jen

Customer reply replied 5 years ago

Why thank you !

Counselor: TherapistJen, LCSW replied 5 years ago

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