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I'm a 63 year old woman with family issues. My daughter and

I'm a 63 year old...
I'm a 63 year old woman with family issues. My daughter and I didn't attend my sons wedding 12 years ago due to his own rudeness, and now my daughter got married and he and his wife sent a 30.00 visa. My daughter was very offended. I texted him that when you send gift card for something like that its needs to be a least 50.00. was I in the wrong to teach him some etiquette and 42?
JA: One is pleased to hear you are seeking aid with your manners. Coming from a very English-infused family, I learnt my Ps and Qs very early in life.
Customer: Well, was I out of line or being the Mom have a right to say something?
JA: Is there anything else important you think the Etiquette Expert should know?
Customer: The history of the family isn't that good and he was mad we didn't go to his, I asked him what I should do about being unfordable with my ex-husband being there whom abused my children and he told me to "shut my f**king mouth and look the other way". so we didn't attend.
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Answered in 3 minutes by:
8/20/2017
EMarie33
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 168
Verified

Greetings and thank you for your question, my name is ***** ***** I would like to assist you. Family dynamics are complex so please give me just a moment while I compose my answer which will hopefully be of assistance.

Sincerely,

Erin-Marie

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Customer reply replied 3 months ago
Actually my son and I have made up since, I was just trying to teach him some etiquette on giving cards for gifts
Customer reply replied 3 months ago
I'd rather text at 5.00

This is very, very complex because the difficulty between your family members is multi-faceted and spans many, many years. Let's tackle the weddings and gift card... It appears that wither he instigated it or not, your son was hurt that your daughter and you didn't attend his wedding; how did your daughter-in-law feel?

This is one of those instances where one must never look the gift horse in the mouth and be thankful for what they receive; at 42 one only learns etiquette if they are compelled to. At a certain point your daughter and son must communicate their grievances with each other; preferably face to face or voice to voice as texting just doesn't convey the emotion and love which would be in your voice.

I am thrilled that you and your son have made up since, as money isn't worth family.

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... Never mind the phone call prompt, it's an automatic pop-up that I have no control over. I am happy to converse with you via writing.

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Customer reply replied 3 months ago
Was I out of line cluing him in?

Well.... a mother is never out of line expressing their feelings with their children but at 42 he has likely learned everything you can teach him and will only learn that which he wants to learn.

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Customer reply replied 3 months ago
The younger generation seems to think I should have let it be.
Michael
Michael, Librarian
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,302
Experience: 20+ years as information professional
Verified

Good afternoon,

I first have to agree with what the previous expert has expressed as making up with your son is a good thing and something I hope will grow and be involved in both of your lives.

As for the idea of sending a gift card, often people of all ages are unaware of what is appropriate in terms of an amount. I think in this case since you have made up with your son that he will come to you in the future for questions that are etiquette involved. Since you have already voiced your opinion on the card what was given as a gift that now he might think before sending and speak to you on what would be the right amount to send.

While this may have started as a difficult thing to do speaking to him about it, future events such as this may not occur again as I would think he may come to you for advice.

I hope that this information was found useful as please inform me of any additional questions/concerns you have. Also if you could take a second to rate my assistance so that I know my help was found useful today.

Take care,

Michael

Michael
Michael, Librarian
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,302
Experience: 20+ years as information professional
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Michael and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
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Customer reply replied 3 months ago
I like both of your replys, thank you.
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Michael
Michael
Michael, Librarian
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,302
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