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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3530
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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I have been having an affair with a girl, 25 years my

Customer Question

I have been having an affair with a girl, 25 years my junior, for about 4 mos. Everything was amazing at first and we we fell in love, mutually, or so I thought. I am in the process of a divorce and she no longer wants to see me. Although, she continues to tell me she loves me, saying Im the best thing to ever happen to her, she would love to be with me every day. But then she will say she doesnt want to hurt me. She also feels she has broken up the marriage. I reassure her that the marriage was rocky for years before she cam along. I really, genuinely care for this lady and I would love to be with her. I just get so many mixed signals from her. help?
JA: This sounds like a can of worms I'm glad not to have to open. The Psychologist will do a great job for you. Is there anything else important you think the Psychologist should know?
Customer: not really
Submitted: 2 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
I just really am hurting internally right now. It all changed so dramatically right after I told her I was leaving. I just do not understand. So confused. I have given her space but you know how this makes mind go crazy with jealousy etc.
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 2 months ago.
I am sure her feelings for you are quite deep. But some people are comfortable with the arrangement of what it was and you being available a little bit rather than fully may have worked for her and now that you are leaving your marriage and available all the time and want something deeper that may not be what she has desired and maybe it is scaring her. I would give her the space and time to figure this out for herself without pushing her and see if she desires to come back and build something with you. But it does sound to me like she was quite comfortable with the arrangement of you being married and her seeing you in that capacity.
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 2 months ago.
Please let me know how I can support you further.