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TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3445
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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My girlfriend and I broke up about 4 months ago. We moved to

Customer Question

My girlfriend and I broke up about 4 months ago. We moved to a new city a year before and she had a hard time adjusting (she had never lived anywhere besides the area where she grew up) and always complained about how much she missed home and friends, and it seems like she never tried to like the new city/state. We live together. So I've tried not talking to her and having no contact, but she's such a social, friendly person that I can't stop talking to her completely. She wants to be friends, I don't. She's friends with her exes, I'm not. She acts playful and friendly, like she's flirting, but when I ask her about it, she says that's just how she is and can't help it. And I don't know what to do.
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Customer: Hi. Ok.
JA: The Psychologist will know what to do. Is there anything else important you think the Psychologist should know?
Customer: I can't tell if she's flirting with me and wants to get back together. We've talked about our issues and she says she's trying to change and better herself, and can't date anyone right now--especially me because I deserve better. I'm working on my issues too. But I feel as though she wants to be with me again, and I want to be with her again. I'm trying to do no contact, but like I said, it's hard since we live together. I think we need to work on each other before we can talk about getting back together, if she even wants to. I've always had issues making relationship commitments, but after 2 years together and almost 5 months apart, I feel like she's the one I want to be with.
Submitted: 7 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 7 months ago.

I don't hear from her end that she desires the same as you. She wants to be playful and silly but without any attachment. She wants to be your friend but also flirt with you. If she wanted more than that, she would indicate that. If you can't be friends with her in this manner then you get to make that choice for yourself, but right now, I think you should focus on you and moving forward.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 7 months ago.

Let me know your thoughts.

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