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Is there a life coach/mentor on this site?

Is there a life coach/mentor on this site?
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Answered in 10 hours by:
12/10/2016
Martin
Martin, Engineer
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5,073
Experience: i'm 41 and i never stopped studying and experimenting
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Hi. I am all ears to what you have to say.

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
How long you been a life coach?

That is the kind of thing you don't really know when you started. Folk come to you and you don't notice it at first. I would say 20 years at least. In any case, take my advices and do what you want with them, you have nothing to loose.

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
You always have something to lose. I get what you are trying to say.

I was refering to your choice of choosing someone else to continue or get a refund in case you are not satisfied :)

I will tell right away that i am not the kind to sugar coat the reality and i may seem a little harsh, be warned.

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
I have a lot of tough issue going on . Also, can you make our decision private.

That is something we can't do here. Perhaps you would be better to use someone with a phone call. I don't do phone call so if this is a problem i will have to let the place to someone else.

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If you can omit names and places, it stay quite private that said.

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
How good are you at strategic thinking. and planning? say from 1-10 . I also think what you said above that will work.

10

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
Great what is a direct link that you can send to me to contact you.

Like i said, with me, everything as to pass trough this current communication channel.

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
I am renting a room from a person. Their one other person and a couple . I was the first to move in and the guy moved in slightly after I moved in. The couple moved in about 45 days ago. We have had nothing but issue since they moved in .They steal and have broken things in the house. Also,they even threaten to kill me. Have cursed out the property manager.,that lives on the property in a camper.The couple has broken every rule the property manager set. The couple just offered to kill me a few days ago. The landlord talked to the couple a few days ago , acted like they was going throw them out.and still haven't done anything. Every time the couple mess up the property manager talks about closing the house down. What advice or strategy would you say to take. Also, since the couple moved in nothing is being fixed and they even brought roaches with them. What advice or strategy would you say to take. for the time being.

In conflict like that, you obviously can't put reason into that couple, so you need to go trough the manager. Make sure you have an alliance of some sort with the other single person with you in that house. When you communicate with the manager, make sure you get written insurance about what you informed him about and about the promise he make.

That put him under certain liability in case something bad happen.

While all this is taking place, try to find another place to live as a plan B. I understand that it can often be easier to say than do and many condition may prevent moving, but this is a possibility. You may even get the other person into this. I assume every individual pay the same and with the risk to loose two good person or a problematic couple, the choice will be obvious for the manager.

Another thing i would do is to keep a recorder on me to make sure i record death treath. It might simply be a bully strategy their impose their power but it is too far over the line and i would fill a complain with the police about that. One need to really be dumb to kill someone after having such a complain about them because it make them de-facto prime suspect.

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
The thing also to considered is the property manager is disabled and their is somethings off about them.They say the brother owns it. But, the property is in their son name not brother name.

I do not have enough information about them to speak about that. It is still the best way to deal with the problem. It is possible that he sell drugs ? Perhaps he sell some to that couple and it could be the reason why he tolerate them. One thing is sure, that couple will not change so you need to have to someway put a distance between you and them. Make understand that if you go, the manager risk to get someone what is not as peaceful as you and the chemistry with that couple may turn bad, so he understand the value to value to have you as a customer.

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
The property manager has been made aware of all this. I noticed that the property manager wife will answer my text ,but he will not. Any opinion on that. I have try to form a alliance with the other guy. But,this person is kind of shaky

For the alliance, start to make it easy with him/she. Tell that you will bring him with you in the new place and help with the moving and that it is easier to get accepted at a new place when you are two. That should remove stress and he will then fear less to confront the manager. That manager wife look another possible alliance. Perhaps you can try to find two or at least another person to replace that couple and propose that to the wife. It is not your job to find renter for them but in such a critical case, one can bend pride a little bit go reap future peace of mind.

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In such case as currently, there is an inertia that install. The manager just don't want thing to change, you must make him (and his wife) realize that they just start to get used to something not healthy and at one point the elastic will pop in their face.

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
How ould you say you do that example

Make yourself lovable by complimenting them once in a while on random things, not asking anything right away. Then you make them understand that it is sad for such nice folk to have to cope with such a bad couple and that they deserve better. That they also have a lack of opportunity in life by having such low life around and that they could increase their life luck opportunity with higher quality tenants. That tenants that can help each other reduce the probability of missing a payment among them.

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
how would you say you do that? Give an example
Customer reply replied 1 year ago
I donot know if that would work.But it is interesting perspective
Customer reply replied 1 year ago
your link
Customer reply replied 1 year ago
I have done something along the perspective above and had not work yet.

It might take time. One of the problem is that if they are in a camper, they do not interact as much with the couple as you are. If you interact with them more (not just to complain) but just to be nice, they will eventually to see you as a good member of the "tribe" and see more and more the couple as some that should be expelled.

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because they will see you more as a firend than a simple revenue milk cow.

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
I need another perspective on how to handle it.

There is more risky ways. If you can bring division in the couple, perhaps they will split and at the same time start a chain of event that will bring them far from there.

You can also play the confidance card and make them bow to your rules over time but that can backfire badly as you mention they are quite agressive, so i really don't advise any direct confrontation with them.

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Is there place for another person in the house, perhaps if you can convince the manager to get another one it would change the balance of power in your favor.

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
no it is not another place in the house.

It is quite unusual for a couple to stay with a group for a long period of time. Did they ever mentioned that this was a temporary situation for them?

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
No not really.

We did not talked about it so far but to take back your 1 to 10 scale example, how do you rate your possibility to leave the place and all the problem attached to it?

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
It will not be right off. But I am looking for a place.
Customer reply replied 1 year ago
I did mention that the property managers are on social security disability ,getting snap etc..,and are steadily working on houses and winning housing contracts . They aren't fixing anything so what approach with them. Because the couple I do not know if you can get them to leave. When they seem to get away with everything.
Customer reply replied 1 year ago
They are basically slum lords. What about the recording things you was talking about.Expand on the concept of how that might could be strategic.

I was meaning that if you record them, the couple, it would give a strategic (not absolute) protection about them an you can send them to jail. A death threat is not a small things.

The problem with this is that you take a temporar ennemy and make a permanent one, i never see that as a good choice unless you are really sure they could go on to kill you.

As for recording the slum lord, if you take some laws (depend on state an municipality):

https://portal.hud.gov/hudportal/HUD?src=/topics/rental_assistance/tenantrights

You could force them to actually move on some front. Forget to get friend with them if you take that path that said as they will hate you for that. One of the primary responsability is to insure that you live in a safe place and you seem to not be with that couple around.

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
It is said by the guy that the lady of the couple threatened to kill the property manager and pushed his wife before. I think that if I get a restraining order I might can pass it as I did it for everybody protection . What do you think?

Yes, that is a solution. The good thing with a couple is that most of the time, only one need to make a misstep and this is an opportunity get rid of both. You can't fill a complain on the behalf of someone else that said, the person involved have to do it.

Martin
Martin, Engineer
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5,073
Experience: i'm 41 and i never stopped studying and experimenting
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