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I am 36 y/o. I am going though a divorce. Ive been seeing my…

Hello! I am 36 y/o...
Hello! I am 36 y/o. I am going though a divorce. Ive been seeing my bf for almost a year. He still lives with hos soon-to-be ex wife. She cheated on him and got pregnant by the other man. Since the baby was born, she's been claiming that it's his baby, he will be taking a paternity test. She is still on love with him and wants to be with him. He was the one who couldn't forgive her. I am running out of patience and this whole thing is eating away at my insecurity. He of course claims that hr is refinancing the home and we'll be moving out. What should i do?
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Answered in 8 hours by:
11/24/2016
TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,889
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Verified

Sounds like a tough situation and I think you can give it a bit more time, but if his living situation does not change then it seems like it works for both of them to stay that way. It will come down to how much longer you want to sit around and wait for him to fully leave his marriage. If there is no movement forward and it seems like things keep stalling, I would then look critically at the situation as to what you want for yourself moving forward. Things get comfortable for people and he may be just fine with things as they are, so you need to decide what you can live with.

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
I agree. Even though he asks me to trust him, he started off our relationship saying that there is no way this child is his, but ever since he's been born, he says that he doesn't know weather it's his or not. I am just going to wait for the results of the paternity test and of the baby is his, that means everything was built on lies. If not i am going to ask for a change of this dynamic. Again,I entered the relationship thinking that his wife was not an issue.

I think that is a great plan. Be strong and advocate for what you need. I am here again if you need in the future. Please take a moment to click the rating stars to rate my support. Thanks so much.

Jen

TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,889
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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Thank you for the positive rating and the lovely bonus. If you need me in the future please write for Therapist Jen only and it will come to me. Be well and keep focusing on what you need from all of this.

Jen

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
Thank you!
Customer reply replied 1 year ago
Hello! I have one more question in regards ***** ***** relationship. I asked my boyfriend if he'd like to start going to church with me, he told me thst he didn't feel comfortable acting like we are married and we'll have to wait intil his divorce is finalized to start going to church together, I was extremely hurt. Was he right?

It's not about right and wrong and more about what he is comfortable with right now. So I understand your desire to have him with you and hopefully it will be that way soon, but for now, try and understand his feelings about it.

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
Thank you so much for your advice.
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