Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP
Hi,I'm Jules, a LPC,I am reviewing your question now, and will post back with your thorough reply briefly :)
I am about to start a counseling session in the clinic. If you don't mind the delay, I will be back asap! So Sorry!!
I think that something to consider is that all relationships are built on compromise. Maybe you guys can work this out to where everyone benefits. I think I would mention to him that you desire the opportunity to spend time with his family, but also want him to feel like he has time with them also. You also only receive a limited amount of time off of work and you would like the opportunity to shop. So.... I would consider going at it alone. Like go for the visit, but even offer to shop on your own in order to each have their separate time and kinda "kill two birds with one stone." I even feel like what you are talking about at my own family's homes when I go visit. It is about the same driving distance and I have to take breaks, like even go to a movie or things just to get out of the house. I get stir-crazy. I actually encourage you to get out and do some things. I often just go alone or open the invitation to anyone who may want to go. You could also consider driving up for the day with him, taking the car with you and coming back to get him after he has spent the time there. You could break up the days that you are there.... would that be an option?
It sounds like Chris feels insulted because he feels that you don't want to spend time with them, but he is not seeing that what you are asking for is just the privacy of an adult and the personal space to feel autonomous.
Does he have sisters that may want to shop? That would be an option if so? You'd be spending time with his family but also getting out? I would remind him that it is about your anxiety also. That you are terrified of feeling isolated or closed in.... be vulnerable and maybe he will see the level of fear. That it isn't about preference related to being around family, but just not feeling too caged. Also, one way to think about it is that Chris is really excited to be with you and his family. He may even have something special planned?
I think I would preface it all with, "Chris, I love your family and spending time with everyone. I am still adjusting and this is all so new to me. I want to feel comfortable and confident. It scares me though."
Have you guys worked it out? Talking through it now?
I have been curious about how things have been. Would love an update.... when you get the chance :)
I hope things are going well. I was not sure of what you guys decided about your trip. Hope to hear from you soon:)
I was going through questions that I still had open and I wanted to touch base with you about this one. It sounds like you guys patched things up based on the other question's mentioning of a possible engagement!! Im really glad for you. If you would like to close this question, please feel free to send a positive rating (3 stars or better) so that credit can be received. Thank you maam!! Have a great Monday!