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Ask TherapistMaryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1704
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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Okay, I really need some advice on this... I'm a single mom

Customer Question

Okay, I really need some advice on this... I'm a single mom with 3 girls ages 2, 3, and 5. I've been single for about 2 years now and just recently met a great guy. He's also a single parent with a little girl, age 9. He's a pilot so he frequently travels. So his mother lives with him bc while he's gone, she takes care of his little girl. Which I think is sweet! He's a good guy and seems very willing to be apart of my kids lives and he's very understanding of my busy schedule. We've only been on 3 dates within the past month. I'm basically new to dating after being in a very long (abusive) relationship and I need to take it slow and casual at first. But the only thing is, this guy is soooo attached to his mother. Which I think is nice BUT he asked me if it was okay to bring her along our last date.. it was at the park to let our kiddos play so I said sure.. but thought it was a little strange and I honestly wasn't ready for all that. She ended up not coming and it sounds bad, but I was relieved. He's now saying "My mom wants to meet you,  my mom wants to meet you!" He's invited us over for thanksgiving... and he's now asking me to come over to his house today with my kids to meet his mom. He's becoming pushy about it and it's just too much too soon for me. I literally just met this guy like a month ago and we've only been on 3 dates. I feel so pressured to meet his mom and I feel like he's not even asking me if I'm okay with it, he's just pushing it on me and I'm feeling stressed out about it. I really just wanted to casually date for a while and let it blossom into something great. But he is taking things WAYYYY too fast. How do I tell him he's moving too fast for me, without hurting his feelings or his pride?? Remember,  this is his mother and I have to tread carefully about the subject.... I want to get to know him better and I didn't plan on seeing anyone else.. but I just wish he'd slow down because he's about to freak me out and run me off 😔... please give me your advice...
Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 11 months ago.

Hi there. I totally agree with your rationale and understanding of the situation and your response. I don't think you are out of line or blowing things out of proportion. So, with that being said, you need to be honest with him. Any healthy relationship needs to start with open honest communication. The best you do in this situation is state your concerns. We can't dwell on how he will react... that is his decision. If you own your feelings and let him know you are getting nervous about how fast this is moving, then he can't argue with that. I think it is appropriate to tell him you are feeling pressure and seeing the relationship move too fast. Now, lay out to him what you want out of the relationship. Either he respects your opinion or he doesn't. Then you know how to proceed in the relationship. WHat do you think?