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TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1701
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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I get just about an hour with my girlfriend a day. She is

Customer Question

I get just about an hour with my girlfriend a day. She is still in school so we spend lunch together and we get about 45 minutes after school to see eachother. Her parents don't let her do much, or leave the house other than for school. I want to see her more. How do i accomplish this? her stepdad automatically says no whenever she asks to go out.
Submitted: 10 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Therapist Leslie replied 10 months ago.

Good morning and thank you so much for your message, Patrick. I know it's hard to reach out. Please know I honor your courage.

My name is ***** ***** I am a psychotherapist in the Metro-Boston are of the United States.

Ahhhh, sweet soul....I understand this problem all too well. I had parents who kept me under lock and chain (slight exaggeration) and it was oh so difficult.

The beauty of things now is at least you can text, Facetime and call each other when not together but yes, I do understand how nice it is to spend time together in person and how one hour a day simply isn't cutting it.

So I imagine your girlfriend has already sat down with her mom (when her stepfather isn't around), asking for why he won't allow her to go out. Is there a specific reason? Does he just not want her to have a boyfriend? Perhaps he's being the protective parent? I think it's important to know why first and foremost.

If the reason is because he doesn't want her to have a boyfriend, would he perhaps allow you to come over to their house? Of course, he will be there (which stinks, I know) but at least you will have some time together. He may feel like he has more control of the situation if he is there and can see that both of you are responsible adults.

What if your mom reached out to his mom and invited your girlfriend on a family outing? She could explain that the two of you would be with adults and perhaps her stepdad would be more open if it came from a parent?

These are just some thoughts. Have you guys tried any of these by chance?