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How to lose interest in woman's completely

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How to lose interest in woman's completely
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Answered in 1 hour by:
11/4/2016
CounselorJules
CounselorJules, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 827
Experience: Licensed Professional Counselor
Verified

Hi,I'm Jules, a LPC,I am reviewing your question now, and will post back with your thorough reply briefly :)

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Before I can completely answer your question, perhaps I need a bit more information in order to provide an answer that you would feel satisfied with. Would you mind giving me some background and an idea of the ultimate goals and the purpose?

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
I want to lose attraction to females because every time I get an erection i ejaculate in my pants, and it's cause sling me a lot of stress and depression

I understand, so maybe it isn't about losing interest in women or attraction to them, but being able to suppress the ejaculation process or prolong that?

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Do you use any type of supplement that increases your testosterone levels? Anything that is used for body-building? Any anabolics at all?

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
No I don't use supplements
Customer reply replied 1 year ago
But I work out regularly

Okay, I was checking to see if anything was causing any premature ejaculation that could be caused by additional hormones in your body.

I am going to send you a couple of resources that you can read about herbal supplements to help control to ejaculation or nerves that may allow ejaculation to occur, but also some information related to the thought patterns that may exist so that you can learn to better control this. Please bear with me!

http://www.herballove.com/guide/premature-ejaculation-caused-nervous-system-dysfunction-prescription-drugs

http://www.herballove.com/solutions/nerve-calming-repair-solution-premature-ejaculation

I will be back briefly with more information.

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This article is also about a natural way to increase ejaculation control.

http://www.herballove.com/solutions/taoists-natural-ejaculation-control-technique

I's a trauma specialist and I am curious if you have what may be referred to as "hyperarousal" or "overaraousal?" Do you feel that you struggle with any sexually impulsive thoughts, almost like an obsessive or ruminating thought? If so, would you mind describing some of those to me? Like, what the patterns of thoughts are?

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http://www.herballove.com/solutions/herbal-nourishing-pills-ejaculatory-nerves-premature-ejaculation

This article specifically discusses the reasons related to seminal leakage and over-arousal. It discusses numerous herbal remedies specifically related to what you mentioned. One thing that I also found interesting is the use of this specific herb:

Cornus officinalis - stops wet dream and seminal leakage

I will wait til I hear back from you before we go forward :)

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
Whenever I'd think of past sexual experiences, I would ejaculate, and if I'm watching porn or a picture of a naked attractive female I'd ejaculate

That last article that I sent had more about masturbation being the reason that hyperarousal may occur, along with overstimulation. Any previous consistent masturbation or excessive masturbation can lead to weakening of the control muscles that delay that type of response. So I wonder if you have conditioned your body, through thoughts and through masturbation, to release semen more rapidly than other men experience?

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
I use to masturbate 3 times a day everyday for 6 years, then I stopped masturbating for 3 years now because it started giving me swelling in my penis. But even then when I was masturbating a lot, I wasn't ejaculating when I got an erection
Customer reply replied 1 year ago
I have anxieties about losing semen I sometimes think it's causing me pain in my calves, forearms, and elbows.
Customer reply replied 1 year ago
Have you heard of nf-cure capsules and shilagit

i have read about it on the same website whose links I sent earlier. I noticed that the capsules were often used for nocturnal emissions but do have some positive side effects also. I was thinking more along the lines of focusing on what drove the sexual desires-- like was it an obsessive sexual thought that you felt you could not rid yourself of, unless you masturbated and then ejaculated..... I was thinking more about what we call "stop-thought" techniques or ways to deter the unwanted thoughts.

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The shilagit actually sounds very beneficial-- especially with the amino acids, which are so good for you also. Can also help you with recovery with working out.

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http://www.naturogain.com/product/masturbation-cure/

This link does well in addressing your questions about those two herbs

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
I tried ordering them once and it didn't come, I think it was a scam

i just checked on amazon and they have some there and usually that is legit....

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
they're obsessive thoughts about past sexual experience you know when your excited that something happened and you can't stop thinking about it even if you try

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00U3HG12G?m=AJK0ONJW0FZEY&ref_=v_sp_widget_detail_page

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Okay, the best thing for obsessive thoughts is usually associated with cognitive behavioral therapy, psychotropic medications, and also developing coping mechanisms for stopping those thoughts. Acting on the compulsions, actually makes the obsessions worse. It becomes a learned behavior and it reinforces the behavior because you have a positive reaction to the action. Does that make sense? There is a specific type of CBT that includes exposure and response prevention or ERP that is very helpful.

This article does a good job of explaining it, but basically what it entails is that you expose yourself to the thing that triggers your desire to engage in a compulsive act repeatedly but you dont act in the compulsion (masturbation for you). You slowly increase the amount of time that you expose yourself to something until you have learned that you can be exposed without the unwanted reaction of ejaculation. It would take time for sure and it is not simple, but basically you retrain your brain to no longer be aroused by this. You changed your learned response to the exposure of a trigger. You then are no longer "rewarded" or receive gratification and then the desire extinguishes itself....

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
What about Porn, can I train myself to not get erections from watching porn to the point of ejaculation. I really don't like getting erections and I'm single I have no luck with woman I tried talking to them and their all taken or a lesbian so when I get turned down I get hurt on the inside and cry I believe that losing semen is bad for me I have anxieties about losing semen I want to stop erections completely cause that's what's causing the leakage, I believe that you losing nutrients and stuff when you ejaculate.

So, ultimately your fear regarding losing semen is one of the core issues, so you fear becoming aroused, fear ejaculating, but rather than having the response that you want, you have the total opposite. You are actually reinforcing all of this. One thing that you have to remember is that your body refuels itself.

there are actually a number of healthy benefits of ejaculating though, that is what is interesting about your obsession or fear. You went to the other end of the spectrum-- from ejaculating three times a day to zero times per day and you stopped masturbating for 3 years. I commend you for your will power and discipline, but the two extremes are not healthy either.

You should check out this article actually....

http://blogs.naturalnews.com/surprising-health-benefits-male-ejaculation/

But, you have to remember that you have to know what is healthy for you. Can you look at porn without getting an erection-- if you train your brain to focus more on a different response, yes, you can. If you are a heterosexual man and desire a relationship with a female you do not want to train your thoughts to have an adverse reaction to females. You can train yourself to be turned off by the guilt you feel after porn exposure, or imagine yourself telling others about porn viewing or even watching porn with someone that you really respect and you would be somewhat hurt if they knew or even just embarrassed. Imagine being "watched" as you view porn by someone you care about.

Check out this article also.....

https://www.jordangrayconsulting.com/2013/10/harness-sexual-energy-greater-clarity-contentment/

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Watch this youtube video about the question that you asked related to porn viewing..... He talks super fast on the video though....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lr-wWX1qSEA

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I swear that this is the last link I will send.... this one is really good in relation to using the ERP with porn....

http://yourbrainonporn.com/exposure-response-prevention-therapy-extinction

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
Okay I'll try, but once my mind believes something it won't let go. Even days after ejaculation I'd find any little thing to blame on ejaculation. Like headaches, sore, throat, pain etc

So, it sounds like you can become fixated on an idea and then it is hard for you to release the control that this thought has on you. That is a "cognitive distortion" and to fix those you can try a few different techniques-- one would be "examining the evidence" where you look to recognize what other options could be true. A sore throat can be related to allergies, headaches can be related to stress, worry, anxiety, even hunger; pain in your muscles or joints can be related to inflammation or soreness after your workouts. There are multiple options, but because you had been ejaculating so often, you began to associate the symptoms with that sort of pain, headache, sore throat, etc-- you "learned" or conditioned yourself" to believe that there was a relation. I bet that you have had headaches, sore throats, pain without the presence of ejaculation and so therefore, it disproves your theory. Does that make sense?

I cant give medication advice, but psychotropic medication can help with obsessive thoughts. I have seen personal success with both zoloft, luvox. These may be options to speak to your primary care physician about....

Also, if you have found the dialogue to be helpful, please provide a positive rating. I am happy to continue communicating even after a rating has been provided, but it is the only way that the experts receive credit :) Thank you, Jules!

CounselorJules
CounselorJules, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 827
Experience: Licensed Professional Counselor
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CounselorJules and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
Thanks for your concern and help, I really appreciate it
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