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My son is marrying a local girl who is lovely. Her immediate…

My son is marrying a...
My son is marrying a local girl who is lovely. Her immediate family is also likely cal. Her mom is from a town about 4 hours away, ,but she has not lived there since marrying 30+ years ago. However, her mother is close to a niece in this distant town, since the believes mother died when she was very young and she did rely heavily on the emotional support from her aunt. This girl is now kin her early 40s , married, stable and had 2 children of her own. In spite of this, my future daughter-in-law and their entire family (mom, dad and 3 grown kids) travel there to spend every holiday. Now my son has decided he needs to partake in this custom. I feel he is abandoning his own family (me, a single mom, his brother two sisters and his niece) for this "cousin family". I could understand if he wanted to split the holidays with his local inlaws. But his reasoning is he can't because they go there. I feel that's their prerogative but it should impact where the kids spend their holidays. You
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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
what's your take?
Customer reply replied 1 year ago
Posted by JustAnswer at customer's request) Hello. I would like to request the following Expert Service(s) from you: Live Phone Call. Let me know if you need more information, or send me the service offer(s) so we can proceed.
Answered in 25 minutes by:
11/3/2016
TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,943
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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I am unable to provide a phone call so please let me know if you are okay to continue here.

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
Sure
Customer reply replied 1 year ago
Just text please

Ok great. What you describe is an very common experience and unfortunately someone always gets the short end of the stick and in this case with your son it is you and your other children. I do agree that the holidays could be split so that you get to enjoy the two of them and they can also keep up the tradition with her family....

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I would gently go to him again without pressure and let him know how you would love if he would ask his fiance if she would like to divide some of the holidays so that she could also integrate with your sons family. IT is possible that if he doesn't feel pressure from you he might be able to advocate for this...but it seems that right now he feels this is the way it has to be to be the wonderful, giving and loving fiance.

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I would also think that your soon to be daughter in law would want to immerse herself in your family as well so I am hoping that in time, this will ease a bit and you can enjoy time together with the two of them.

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
Thank you

I am with you on this and if you go to him with love, empathy, understanding he might be able to really hear you.

Let me know how else I can support you.

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
Thanks I will let you know what happens!

Excellent. I wish you well with it all. Please take a moment to click the rating stars to rate my support. Thanks so very much in advance.

Jen

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Will you take a moment now to take care of the rating for me?

TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,943
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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