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Married and very happy. Wife lives in different state than…

Married and very happy. Wife...
Married and very happy. Wife lives in different state than me . We fly each weekend . Her family lives in same town as me and just a couple of miles away. She owns a couple of businesses in her state and that is why she is there . If it was not for that she would be here. I'm in my state for I have a Great job and 20 years into it . This is a stress free , good pay Job with great co- workers .
We want to be together and we want to make sure that we do the right thing . I've thought about quitting and helping at her business and moving there. Another option has just come up And I have been offered a promotion to go to her state and work but with a lot more responsabilty . Another option is to do what we have been doing . Ultimately whatever decision we make we will keep our house in my state as we plan to let this be our retirement home since our families our here . Any advice?
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Answered in 45 minutes by:
11/1/2016
CounselorJules
CounselorJules, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 827
Experience: Licensed Professional Counselor
Verified

Hi,I'm Jules, a LPC,I am reviewing your question now, and will post back with your thorough reply briefly :)

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Good morning! I would love to hear what you feel like may be the pros and cons to the options. I think that it is important to be focused on what makes you feel like you have been successful? such as, how do you define success or even happiness? What do you feel that your wife's opinion is and how have you guys processed the options so far?

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
My wife is a slave to her business. Mon through Friday is 12 to 14 hour days . Finding good help to help support her has been a challenge . I know I could help her manage her employees to help eliminate a lot of hours she puts in . My job that I'm at currently has good pay , good co- workers , and I'm able to take off any time and the people over me have a great amount of confidence in me . Over 20 years they have been my family especially with me just getting married. My heart knows that my wife needs me . It's hard to let go of a place you have been 20 years but reality is it will happen eventually one day anyway.
Taking the new job is somethinge I think I can be good at but the responsabilty I will have is tremendous and I like challenges but this could possibly be overwhelming.
I know my wife wants me close by and with her everyday of the week . We are first loves and we were separated 32 years ago but reunited in a unbelievable love story and cherish every moment we gave together. I love my wife , I love my job , I love my current co workers .
My wife needs me and I feel that that is where I need to go but I feel like
I'm losing something in this process .
To leave my current job and transfer or become part of her business which is very successful .

One thing that really stands out to me is that you truly want to support your wife and you would like to see her have success but also maybe even feel that she has someone that she trusts by her side to relinquish some of the responsibility to. I think that going to support her would be beneficial in multiple ways-- you are showing her that you care deeply about her own emotional health, the success of her businesses, and also that you are willing to make amendments to yield to her needs. I wonder if, once you were able to go and support her, you could also help her hire a team that will relieve some of her stress and this allow you to return to the position you are in or possibly even something better? You have had such an impact on your co-workers and with the company, that they may even be willing to allow you to do that for a certain amount of time with some sense of "grace" prior to making a permanent decision?

It sounds like though, at least from an outside perspective, that you recognize how the universe has lined up for you both to reconnect, have this time together, and also support one another-- even after 32 years of separation. I think that in life, there are some things that you cant get back-- one being time-- so I would really focus on cherishing that....

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
Thank you and taken to heart

You are welcome. I really think that your success over the last 20 years, will be an asset for your wife's continued success also. I think that this will be doing something "together" and that it will really be a testament of moving beyond anything that could have created distance before and allow you guys to continue to develop and nurture something that is both of yours.....

CounselorJules
CounselorJules, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 827
Experience: Licensed Professional Counselor
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