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Ask Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA Your Own Question
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 35023
Experience:  MBBS, MS
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My husband is telling me that he's not happy in our marriage

Customer Question

My husband is telling me that he's not happy in our marriage and makes not promises thats hes staying (walked out on me and 2 kids last year no warning signs)but is angry at me for not wanting to be intimate with him. Am i wrong to feel like this?
JA: The Psychologist will know what to do. Is there anything else important you think the Psychologist should know?
Customer: I have chro
Submitted: 9 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Customer: replied 9 months ago.
I have a chronic illness that causes severe pain. Did marriage counseling after he left last year as he put sex as top priority in marriage (I can only enjoy intimacy 10 days a month while nerve blocks are in) and was ignoring me unless we were able to have sex. Things got better but now I'm not included in most aspects of his life. His family (paternal), friends, work and social lives do not include me and he often goes out drinking with his single friends and doesn't come home. Only seems happy when he's not here. I don't want to see my kids suffer again but I also don't want them to think this situation is normal. He says I'm being a drama queen but am I?
Customer: replied 9 months ago.
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Expert:  Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA replied 9 months ago.

Hello! My name is***** to JustAnswer. I'm reviewing your question now, and will post back with the reply momentarily.

Expert:  Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA replied 9 months ago.

Do you have fibromyalgia or autoimmune arthritis?

Did your doctor communicated him about your medical and related issue?

Since how long have you been married?

What is your and husband's age?

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
18 yrs he's 38. He's known since day one but still wants "favors" when I don't have nerve blocks. I have nutcracker syndrome, pelvic congestion syndrome, crohns, illugunial neuropathy, mutiple vascular coils and stents in abd. He left without warning last year for 3 weeks. Now he's says he's not happy and doest know if he'll be staying but he's angry I'm not comfortable being intimate until he figures out what he wants. An I being unreasonable? In past he has acknowledged treating me a "a peice of meat" and at times like a prostitute (would buy me things and expect sexual favors and become angry if I said no) and he's really starting to emphasis sex again. What do I do?
Expert:  Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA replied 9 months ago.

Let me at the outset tell you that you are not unreasonable at all. With your significant medical conditions, you have physical limitations and he need to understand it.

You mentioned that, after your nerve blocks, you do have sex with him, so that is pretty good.

Now coming back to overall picture; with family and kids, he needs to be more responsible. So if you have already talked with him, you may consider getting some counseling for him. This can be done by a close friend, relative or a professional psychologist. The counselor can explain him the significant problems you are undergoing. That explanation clearly by somebody else may help him in gauge your problem properly and change his perception and perspective.

Please feel free for your follow up questions.

I would be happy to assist you further, if you need any more information.

Thanks for using Just Answer.

Expert:  Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA replied 9 months ago.

It is privilege assisting you.

Please let me know if you have further queries or unanswered questions.

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Thank you.

Wishing you all the very best in life.

Expert:  Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA replied 9 months ago.

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Expert:  Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA replied 9 months ago.

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