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TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3436
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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Second opinion] - I can tell all about my situation. I live

Customer Question

Second opinion] - Hello! I can tell all about my situation. I live in Norway, and a couple of months ago, I moved to another city and started studying. On the second day of living there, a guy messaged me on this one dating app. We met 2 days later, went on some really amazing dates. A week after that, he came to my Place, and he saw that i sleep on the couch, and he had to get rid of his bed, because it was too big for his new Place, so he gave it to me. He then went to Australia, since this is where he comes from and came back two weeks later. Already on the first date, he told me how he came to Norway a year ago to live With his girlfriend who was Norwegian, but after 6 moths of living together, he saw that its not working out, be she had hard time letting him go. They broke up officialy 3 weeks before I meet him. A month ago, a restaurant below his apartment caught on fire, the smoke came to all of the Apartments above. He asked if he could stay at my Place for a couple of days. After that he found out the apartment will be ready in a couple of months, and he didnt have the Insurance yet, so they could not pay for the hotel. I've told him he can stay at my Place, if i could get another key for him. It worked out well, and so until he found another Place to live, we lived together for almost a month. Everything was going great, we had no problems, and he was being very affectionate. A week ago he found a Place to move to until the apartment will be ready, he said it is a girl, who is renting a room in her apartment and he would live toghether With her. He had a hard time finding a Place to live, so he accepted it. The day after he moved, i saw that he left a couple of Things, and so he picked them up in the evening. No red flags happened, he kissed me before saying goodbye and went in for the second kiss as i started to go back to my apartment. Throughout the time he lived With me, he thanked me a lot how i let him stay here, because he doesnt have any friends here yet, and how he appreciates it. We go to the same gym together, and last thursday, i met him there. We chated for like 5 minutes, but i noticed that he is a little distant. I then met him again on saturday as i was having a dinner With a friend, and he was walking past the restaurant With his ex roomate, who he Trains together With. He came over, we talked for a couple of minutes. After an hour, i went to Train, but i was so tired that i trained only for an hour. As i was leaving, i saw that they were leaving too. They were about to grab some Food, his roomate left to get a table, and we talked for some time, but i could see that he is being weird. I asked if he has any plans tonight, and as he said he doesnt, i asked if he would like to meet later. He said he will probably go to sleep early. He hugged me as we were saying goodbye. Today i met him at the gym, but i had the feeling that he needs some Space, since we were living together for almost a month, and we did not know each other for a long time. I did not talk to him, and as i was leaving, i saw them again. They say they are going to eat again, i said im going to the same Place, but im gonna just order a take away and eat at home. When i ordered my meal, i went to their table and asked if its okay if i wait o couple of minutes With them. He said thats okay, but they did not talk to me for those 5 minutes, his roomate asked me once how it is going, i said it is going great. I asked my guy is there something new With him, he replied With "nothing". After 5 minutes my Food was ready, and i left saying "see ya, have a Nice dinner". When i came home, i got a Message from him "Hey, I'm going to be honest With you, tonight was a little bit creepy for me, because you were waiting for me to finish at the gym and then invite yourself over to sit With us while we were having a conversation. I've just spend 3 weeks With you full time and I need som of my own time right now and I feel you dont want to give it to me. I hope you can under
JA: OK. To minimize me, please click the down arrow at the top right corner of this box.
Customer: Great, when should i expect to get an answer? Thank you
JA: The Psychologist will know what to do. Is there anything else the Psychologist should be aware of?
Customer: No, I pretty much described everything
Submitted: 9 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 9 months ago.

To me it doesn't sound like this will go anywhere and while he has been nice in the past, he wasn't that gracious to you. I don't hear that you were waiting for him to leave the gym and so what, big deal that you walked over to the table to chat while you waited. So, if I were you, I would move on from him and not take any of this personally.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 9 months ago.

There are not rules on how this comes down to how you feel about yourself and what energy you want to put out there for a man that has shown his style. It is usual that people show themselves early on and so he has. Let that be your guide.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 9 months ago.

Let me know if I can support you further. Keep your head held high and try not to personalize any of this.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 9 months ago.

If all good, please take a moment to click the rating stars. wishing you the best. Thanks so much.


Expert:  TherapistJen replied 9 months ago.

Please take a moment to click the rating stars to rate my support so that I may receive credit for my time. Thanks.