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I am sorry to hear of all your pain around this and yes you both have been connected to each other but I don't hear that he is in love with you. It sounds like it has been friendship all the way and in your desire for him you had hopes and dreams for both of you. Don't beat yourself up over having hope....you were connected in every way but if there was love coming from his side then most likely intimate moments would have appeared naturally. So I think you mourn this loss and dust off and decide whether you can accept him as the firends you have always been and give up the dream you had for both of you....
I know you are hurt, but maybe take a breather and decide if losing him altogether is what you desire.
Let me know how I can support you.
I am here when you are available.