Relationship

Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP

Connect one-on-one with {0} who will answer your question

This answer was rated:

★★★★★

He broke up with me last week after 2 years. We've always…

He broke up with me...

He broke up with me last week after 2 years. We've always been so different, which caused our fighting, but always enjoyed being together and like to do the same things. (Be outdoors, be on the water, go out, silly things, etc.) But we differ in lifestyles. I had to accept his occasional drug use, he didn't have a license, and his very nonchalant attitude toward life. Never wantes to be on a schedule or told when he was wrong. We connected instantaneously and were pretty much inseparable. Love was strong. We tried to compromise on the drug issue but he never always kept his word and he knew drugs made ne uncomfortable. Last week he had a couple beers and drove his mom's car home with no license, he's 30 and has 3 DWIs. I flipped out told his mom and he kicked me out. After his anger vanished he said he couldn't be mothered anymore and had been thinking about this for weeks and lost it for me. He cried told me he loved me and will miss me and can't stand the thought of not having me as his friend in life because I'm his best friend and that I'll find someone great. I'm at the point where I wish I didn't fight with him so much on his drug use, it ruined us and is it really all that bad? I don't even know anymore. I wish I could go back and stop my mouth. I wake uo cringing everyday because I miss him so much. I truly love him and want to be in his arms so bad. I just wish we could reconcile.

Show Less

Ask Your Own Relationship Question

Answered in 1 hour by:

10/1/2016

Counselor: Therapist Leslie, Counselor replied 6 years ago

Therapist Leslie, Counselor

Category: Relationship

Satisfied Customers: 493

Experience: Owner and Psychotherapist at Self-Employed, Private Practice

Verified

Good evening and thank you so much for your message. I realize it's difficult to reach out. Please know I honor your courage.

My name is ***** ***** I am a psychotherapist in the Metro Boston area of the United States.

Ahhhh, sweet friend, I am so sorry. Your heart must be absolutely broken. I've also been in your place and understand how it's painful to face each day when the pain is so deep.

I do understand how wonderful things were between the two of you.....how alive you felt with guy...how much fun you had together...how you were inseparable....how deep your love was. You lost your best friend, sweet soul, and it aches beyond words. But.....this guy needs to grow up. He needs to take responsibility for his life...he needs to make smart decisions. He needs to man-up and start making some smart moves or he will wind up in jail. It's time for him to be a grown-up and you simply cannot keep serving as a mother figure to him. I know it pained you to be in that role but you probably feared for him at times. He made many poor decision...the kind of decisions that have long-term, lifetime affects and he needs to change.

I understand the pain but sadly this is not the right man for you. Perhaps in time he will grown up a bit and you can reconsider but for now, you need to grieve this loss. The next man in your life may not be so exciting but will be more responsible...will make better choices, will take good care of you and will not be the kind of guy you lay awake at night worrying about. Please trust me with this. Until then, take good care of yourself....you deserve all the best.

Have I answered your question? Is there anything else I can do to assist you further? I want to ensure you are pleased with my service. I also gently request you provide a star rating for me. Of course, we can continue to talk after the rating is provided.

Please take good care of yourself and feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.

Warm regards,

Therapist Leslie

Customer reply replied 6 years ago

I'm really hurting I miss him so much and even though I knew I deserved better he acted like I wasn't good enough and could t fit into his life. So many people in that circle used drugs and had finanially sta le lives, married, children. Shouldn't I havr just been more understanding instead of lose someone I love? I could have changed so much instead of always getting mad at him.

Customer reply replied 6 years ago

I hate this. He hurt me so bad, he rejected me and I did everything to make him my priority. There were so many things I accepted that most wouldn't. He was very selfish, and never made up for me always driving as he couldn't. But I feel like he would have been more caring if I was more accepting of his lifestyle because that caused all thr fighting which pushed him away. I keep blaming myself for so much. He gave up on us when I just never wanted to lose him.

Counselor: Therapist Leslie, Counselor replied 6 years ago

I know, honey. It's painful...painful beyond words but in no way should you adjust your standards to fit into his. His life is truly in ruins and you can't allow yourself to sit in that dark place with him. You need to be on your own or with someone who shares the same values as you. Please do not second guess yourself. The pain will eventually pass and you will return back to the person you have always know yourself to be. Please trust me on this.

Customer reply replied 6 years ago

All I feel right now is an aching to be in his arms. That's all I want at this moment. I'm day 10 in the breakup. I changed my number and didn't give it to him or many people but I'm still hopeful he'll regret gis decision. I'm having such a hard time accepting he's gone forever. It kills me.

Counselor: Therapist Leslie, Counselor replied 6 years ago

I know--i truly do understand but you need to be with a man who is not selfish, not irresponsible, not self-destructive. I understand the ache but you must move forward, sweet soul, and you will.

Therapist Leslie, Counselor

Category: Relationship

Satisfied Customers: 493

Experience: Owner and Psychotherapist at Self-Employed, Private Practice

Verified

Therapist Leslie and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

Ask your own question now

Customer reply replied 6 years ago

I'm having a real hard time waking up and going through the day. I just crave being in his arms as soon as I wake up. Nothing matters anymore that I used to enjoy doing. I'm so empty what do I do.

Counselor: Therapist Leslie, Counselor replied 6 years ago

I know, I truly understand--you can't eat, can't sleep, don't care about anything. This feeling is temporary, my friend, it will go away in time. Please, trust me on this. I am so sorry you ache so badly.

Customer reply replied 6 years ago

I need help, I'm in pieces all day long. All I want to do is call and be back in his arms, and the worst part is knowing he'll probably reject me all over again. He went from My Dave to a person who didn't want me anymore in a matter of 5 minutes. It doesn't matter anymore how much I shouldn't be in a life like that. I just want him and it's killing me. I'm scared to go to sleep because I wake up with such totured thoughts for the day. Sometimes even nightmares. I've never had it this bad before.I don't know if you believe in God, but I knew I wanted more and couldn't stay in that life. So I prayed that God would intervene and put a stop to it because I didn't want to lose him. But I got burned in the process. I feel like God has abandoned me. My friends just expect me to get over it. I'm searching for something to cope and there's nothing.Please help me. I can't feel like this anymore. Nothing is helping.

Counselor: Therapist Leslie, Counselor replied 6 years ago

This answer is protected

Would you like to ask this question?

If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.

Was this answer helpful?

Yes

How JustAnswer works

Describe your issueThe assistant will guide you

Chat 1:1 with a counselorLicensed Experts are available 24/7

100% satisfaction guaranteeGet all the answers you need

Related Relationship Questions

I have left my boyfriend of 5 years and am now regretting my

Hello, I have left my boyfriend of 5 years and am now regretting my decision. Feeling very brainwashed. … read more

Kate M.

Therapist

Masters in Counseling Psychology

121 satisfied customers

I have a HUGE problem I need help figuring out ASAP. It's a

I have a HUGE problem I need help figuring out ASAP. It's a bit of a story but has to do with a little bit of everything from being beaten to drugs and now it's affecting my children. I need advice fa… read more

Juleen C, LCSW

Private Practice Psychotherapist

MSW

426 satisfied customers

I am going through a divorce and I cheated on my husband by

Second opinion] I am going through a divorce and I cheated on my husband by sexting a guy while I was married. The guy and I never had sex until I left my husband. He would always not answer for a cou… read more

John-Michaels

Counselor

Master's Degree

1,214 satisfied customers

My ex and I are in love. He lived here for a year straight

My ex and I are in love. He lived here for a year straight and off and on before for a few years. July 3rd we had a bad fight and I told him to move out. Hurtful and angry words were exchanged. He sai… read more

TherapistJen

Licensed Clinical Social Worker

Master's Degree

4,169 satisfied customers

My ex and I dated for a 1 yr 1/2. It was amazing. Towards

My ex and I dated for a 1 yr 1/2. It was amazing. Towards our 1 year anniversary, we argued a lot. On the last fight, I left for a week to spend a planned trip with my family. He and I barely talked, … read more

TherapistJen

Licensed Clinical Social Worker

Master's Degree

4,169 satisfied customers

I am totally confused what should I do now. We had been together

I am totally confused what should I do now. We had been together for five years. We were perfectly matched and really had a lot of memories, ups and downs in 5 years. . I was only 17 years old(after h… read more

Jen Helant

Bachelor's Degree

1,262 satisfied customers

Since my ex left me ex wife, he has reached out to

Since my ex left me for his ex wife, he has reached out to me countless times. One of the reasons they got divorced was that when they would argue or fight he found comfort in another woman. He never … read more

DrJackiePhD

Doctor

Doctoral Degree

465 satisfied customers

Hello my ex Boyfriend and I were together for 3 years he is

Hello my ex Boyfriend and I were together for 3 years he is 25 and I am 35 our relationship has been pretty rocky at times beings he cheated when we first started dating and he is very jealous. I am a… read more

Dear Debra

Advice Columnist, Author

Associate Degree

1,831 satisfied customers

When is hope and love too much. In 2 weeks it should be our

When is hope and love too much. In 2 weeks it should be our 20th anniversay. We have 3 kids 17,16,12.... We are currently seperated, and he says that he in not inlove with me, but doesn't hate me eith… read more

creatinghealth

Life Coach

Master's Degree

Hi, i have been with my ex for 11 month and tried to break

Hi, i have been with my ex for 11 month and tried to break up with him(i did not really mean it sometimes) for several times. two weeks ago he suggested we took a break, but we still kept in touch for… read more

Dr. Paige

Psychologist

Doctoral Degree

1,354 satisfied customers

Hello! Four months ago I met online a girl [22yo] (I am also

Hello! Four months ago I met online a girl [22yo] (I am also a girl [24yo]), who I liked from the first time I saw her on web-cam. We talked a lot and many problematic things came out about her past (… read more

Mark Manley

131 satisfied customers

I dont know how to type this all in here, but Ill try. I

I don't know how to type this all in here, but I'll try. I like a guy who is in love with his ex girlfriend. They dated for 6 months and she broke up with him almost a year ago. I helped him start to … read more

psychlady

Clinical Director

Master's Degree

3,833 satisfied customers

Hi, I hope that someone can help me with my new relationship

Hi, I hope that someone can help me with my new relationship and the issues that have surfaced in just 3 weeks of dating. I feel like i'm seriously losing my mind but my gut instinct keeps saying I am… read more

psychlady

Clinical Director

Master's Degree

3,833 satisfied customers

Hello, My boyfriend has just broken up with me, we were

Hello, My boyfriend has just broken up with me, we were together for 9 years, I'm 27 and he's 28. We lived together and we just recently bought a dog. We went travelling for 2 months, and when we retu… read more

Dear Debra

Advice Columnist, Author

Associate Degree

1,831 satisfied customers

Hi, My husband and I have been married for about 3.5 years,

Hi, My husband and I have been married for about 3.5 years, together for 5. We are still young (26 and 28). In the beginning we were inseparable. We loved each others company and couldn't get enough o… read more

Jennifer

School Psychologist

Master's Degree

320 satisfied customers

Hi, Im hoping you can help me with this. I dated my ex

Hi, I'm hoping you can help me with this. I dated my ex for 5 months. He's a good guy and things were great between us for awhile. And then we started to fight alot mainly because I was insecure in th… read more

Dr Rossi

Doctoral Degree

826 satisfied customers

I would like someone who knows whats been going on with me

I would like someone who knows what's been going on with me to answer this. Does a new expert know all my info from before? Anyway my Uncle drove by this guy's house, he was in his van and so was PHYS… read more

Ms Chase

Life Coach

853 satisfied customers

my husband cheated right after i got preg. with my 4th ...

my husband cheated right after i got preg. with my 4th child i found out 5 months later and that was when she just go tpreg. i divorced my hubby he moved in with her when i had my baby he came back to… read more

Ms Chase

Life Coach

853 satisfied customers

Disclaimer: Information in questions answers, and Show Less

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

JustAnswer in the News:

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.
Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!
AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.
GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.
JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.
EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.
RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.
DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

TherapistMaryAnn

Counselor

1,790 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Ms Chase

Life Coach

853 satisfied customers

Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Alicia_MSW

Psychotherapist

468 satisfied customers

Specializing in relationship/family counseling

DrJackiePhD

Doctor

465 satisfied customers

I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

Dr. Norman Brown

Marriage Therapist

444 satisfied customers

Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples

Dr. L

Psychologist

366 satisfied customers

Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.

Suzanne

Therapist, LCSW

338 satisfied customers

Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

< Previous | Next >

Show MoreShow Less