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Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 362
Experience:  Owner and Psychotherapist at Self-Employed, Private Practice
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My boyfriend went on while he was married to his

Customer Question

My boyfriend went on while he was married to his ex wife (not at the end of their marriage). He's either lied to me about it or forgot about it. All other indications are that he is a loyal and committed guy and has even said he definitely wants to go to premarital counseling before ever getting married again. Thoughts?
Submitted: 12 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Therapist Leslie replied 12 months ago.

Good morning, Andrea, and thank you so much for your message. I realize it's difficult to reach out. Please know I honor your courage.

My name is ***** ***** I am a psychotherapist in the Metro Boston area.

You ask a really good question and I can absolutely understand your concern. I truly believe this is a red flag...especially considering he has either lied about his dishonest behavior or conveniently "forgotten" about it. He was unfaithful in his relationship and pushes it aside as if this piece of information is irrelevant. This should be a concern, no doubt.

How long have the two of you been together? Are your feelings for him deep? Please provide a little bit more information if you wouldn't mind.....

Warm regards,

Therapist Leslie

Customer: replied 12 months ago.
I have fairly good intuition and I believe that he was not unfaithful but maybe went on Match to "look" and see what was out there (not saying that is any better). I actually don't believe he would be unfaithful but is more the type that might have one foot out the door to be ready to go to another person if his current relationship fails.Feelings are deep but he has had more serious relationships than I'm comfortable with. He calmly explains what happened in those relationships explaining the dissolutions and understands why I ask so many questions. I do believe he believes what he is saying to me regarding those relationships but that maybe it isn't how things happened in reality.
Expert:  Therapist Leslie replied 12 months ago.

Hum....this is a tough one. It sounds like you need to keep asking the difficult questions and listen closely to your intuition as it doesn't lie. Our body always holds the truth. I know sometimes it's challenging when your feelings are already deep. Watch closely, listen carefully and the truth will surface.

Expert:  Therapist Leslie replied 11 months ago.

Good morning, Andrea. I hope you are well. Just wanted to check in as I have not received a rating from you as of yet To me this means you may have another question. Please let me know – I am simply touching base. Thanks so much.

Warm regards,

Therapist Leslie