Good morning and thank you so much for your message. I realize it is difficult to reach out for help. Please know I admire your courage.
My name is ***** ***** I am a psychotherapist in the Metro Boston area.
Thank you for the information provided. It sounds like while your relationship has moved quickly and obviously there was a bit of transition time. I am concerned about the way the two of you approach disagreements. It sounds like it gets incredibly nasty and hurtful things are said on both ends. I do believe the two of you could rather easily learn some ways to disagree and yet still remain respectful to each other through couples counseling. Is this something you would consider? I think once there communication tools are mastered, your relationship can then be examined and a decision made. It does sound like there is a lot of good in what you currently have but the fighting has made things incredibly toxic. Perhaps approach this by saying something like this...
"I love you and the life we have created together. As we are both aware, we sadly don't fight fairly. We so often intentionally try to hurt one another and it chips away at my confidence for our relationship. I do think there many good parts of us being together and wondering if you would consider attending couples counseling so we can find more effective ways to communicate our feelings of frustration?"
Does this feel comfortable?
So, in other words, my recommendation is to see if a new way of being together can be created when there are differences. If so, I think things between the two of you would be significantly better. You can then assess the relationship, determining if you would like continue moving forward.
Have I answered your question? Is there anything else I can do to assist you further? I want to ensure you are pleased with my service. I also gently request you provide a star rating for me. Of course, we can continue to talk after the rating is provided.
Please take good care of yourself and feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.