Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP
Good evening and thank you so much for your message. I realize it's difficult to reach out. Please know I honor your courage.
My name is ***** ***** I am a psychotherapist in the Metro Boston area.
Congratulations on finding someone you would like to be in a relationship with. Wonderful!
In response to your question, there aren't any right or wrong answers. When and if you feel comfortable and ready is the correct time. Some people wait until they are exclusive until they have sex, others use sex as a way of determining whether or not they want to be exclusive. If should be, of course, when you feel safe and comfortable with your partner and obviously be sure to practice safe sex. The decision of when is entirely yours.
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Please take good care of yourself and feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.
Yes, I do feel sex changes a relationship. It creates a level of intimacy that wasn't there before. Also, it does force a conversation to happen that might not have happened before....I'm specifically thinking about the exclusivity type of conversation. I imagine you miss him during the times he travels but I don't think having sex will cure that...probably only make you miss him more. If your reason for having sex is to get a bit more clarity around the level of commitment, I don't think will necessary help either. I would completely base my decision on whether or not you feel ready and if you feel the relationship is moving forward.