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Hi, I'm Alicia. Thanks for your question, I'm happy to help you today. I can understand your enthusiasm and desire to be with this man, who, based on what you've said here, does seem to potentially be the person you've been looking for. And I know how tempting it can be to want to rush head over heels into a relationship when you feel that spark of connection. However, I would caution you to not jump into things too fast or I fear you might inadvertently push him away, which is of course what you don't want. To answer your question, I would not advise chasing him -- he obviously is interested but he also has other things on his plate at the moment, and if you start chasing him, he could feel like you're pushing him too quickly when he might not be 100% ready. I do think he would be flattered, at least initially, but I do think a lot of men enjoy the opportunity to do the chasing themselves. To use a cliche, distance makes the heart grow fonder, and he'll likely to be more interested in you if you are not so available and if you respect his boundaries. You ultimately have to do what makes you feel most comfortable, so if you want to pursue him then you should take the chance and see what happens. But my gut feeling is that he's letting you know that he's interested but he needs to take things a bit slower -- so I would let him set the pace in the beginning, even if that means you can't get what you want right away -- I think it will be worth the wait in the long run, if the connection between you was really as strong as it sounds. I wish you all the best.
I don't think there's any harm in sending a card -- I don't think "not chasing" necessarily means no contact, it just means being more subtle, in my opinion. Sometimes, I see people in situations such as yours and they are convinced that they have to paint a very clear picture to the other person in order for them to understand that they are interested, if you know what I mean, and I think that can be dangerous (even though well-intentioned) if the other person is asking for space or time or giving the hint that they want to take things slow. I think the signs are good in your case because he is interested, as far as I can tell, but he might be scared off by the intensity of the connection, for example, that you described earlier, and of course things can be more complicated when children are involved, so maybe he just wants to be sure and take his time. (I have to be fair and say perhaps he's not interested at all, because we obviously can't read his mind, but I'm really not getting that feeling in my gut when I read what you've written.) I don't think sending a card would be so harmful and I don't think he would see it as an act of desperation if he really is as great as you describe. Stalker-like behavior would be if you were to call him every day and send him texts every hour or drive over to his house uninvited - I don't think there's a danger of you doing that because you're very aware of yourself and how you might come across (otherwise, you wouldn't have asked your question here :)) Just keep cool and don't push too much -- send the card if it makes you feel more comfortable -- but then give him time to reply and reach out. Just make one move at a time and try to relax and let things take their natural course. I know that's not easy but it's what I would advise if you don't want to push him away and want to keep him interested. Best wishes!
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I think it went as good as can be expected, given the circumstances. It's good that he reached out and apologized. And you did what you can -- you were supportive but not pushy, so I think you handled it well. I know it's difficult to take things slow when you want to go full speed ahead but I do think that things can work out well between you two if you can just be a bit patient -- and if you're OK with that. Obviously, you don't have to wait around for him if you don't want to but it seems like you think it could be worth it, so just see what happens. I think he's interested but he's just dealing with some things right now and he needs to take it at his own pace for the time being. I wish you all the best.