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Ask Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA Your Own Question
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 35061
Experience:  MBBS, MS
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My fiancee has a 46 year old son who is brain-damaged but is

Customer Question

My fiancee has a 46 year old son who is brain-damaged but is destroying or sabotaging our relationship.
Submitted: 12 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA replied 12 months ago.

I am Dr. Arun and will be helping you today.

I am sorry that your question was unanswered for long.

What are the remedial proposal you have suggested to her?

What are her responses?

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
He was jumped by an ethnic gang and almost killed. Since than he has become, often, severely depressed and violent. I think my fiancee should show tough love and make him get out of the house and try to find work but all he does is stay in his bedroom and drink beer ,smoke cigarettes andI think take drugs. Right now I cannot go back to her house because we had anargument over his behavior. I cannot see living with womeone whom I truly love but will not get real help for her son. He has been in rehab over 9 times and arrested several times for violent behavior. What should Ido?
Expert:  Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA replied 11 months ago.

Thanks for the further information.

Your fiance son has two issues;

1) Psychological; depression and occasionally getting violent.

2) Behavioral issues; drinking beer, smoking (cigarettes and/or drugs).

Both of these are significant and need urgent attention. The reason is future worsening, which is known in all of these. The prognosis is poor if not treated promptly, continuously and effectively. These are finance draining, time consuming and seriously compromise quality of life. I am sure, your fiance would be understanding them as he has admitted him to Rehab for many times. But there is rebound and resurfacing of the problems, so surely these have not been handled completely and were managed inadequately.

You should talk to your fiance. I am sure you must have done that, earlier too. But a newer perspective have to be given to him that he has to choose a life with his son and his problems or a quality life with you. I see that talking and firmly assisting him chalking out executing a treatment plan for his son; could be the best solution. You may consider taking firm decision on your fiance's behalf, for a long term treatment measures of his son.

Please feel free for your follow up questions.

I would be happy to assist you further, if you need any more information.

Thanks for using Just Answer.

Expert:  Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA replied 11 months ago.

It is privilege assisting you.

Please let me know if you have further queries or unanswered questions.

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Thank you.

Wishing you all the very best in life.

Expert:  Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA replied 11 months ago.

Thank you for the opportunity to answer completely your Question. Please make sure to rate me because that is how I am credited and paid for my work.

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Thank you.

Expert:  Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA replied 11 months ago.

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Expert:  Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA replied 11 months ago.

Hope you are doing very good.

Please let me know if I can help you further.

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