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Ask TherapistMaryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1692
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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I'm recently married. It was sort of an arranged marriage.

Customer Question

I'm recently married. It was sort of an arranged marriage. I'm the only one my wife has ever been with. I recently brought her to the U.S. she soon wants to work, and go to school. However, I do not support this idea because men and women interact at work and school and I'm afraid she might develop a friendship. I'm a very jealous guy and I love her. She is very attractive so surely another guy could try his best to get close to her. Am I thinking rationally?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Norman M. replied 1 year ago.

I think you are coming at this from a religious point of view. If she loves you, your relationship will not come to harm, because she will refuse any advances made.

In the US she has freedom of choice how to live her life, and if you force her to choose between freedom and you, you may be in for a very nasty shock. She is NOT "yours " to do with as you wish, and If were in your plave, I would let her get on with it. If not, things WILL become very bitter between you.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I am not coming from a religious point at all. I'm not very religious. I just love her and don't want her to make friends at work or school because most people of opposite sex form friendships in the workplace and school. How do I talk to her about that?
Expert:  Norman M. replied 12 months ago.

I apologized for my error.

The fact is thet relationships form easily over a coffeee, a stray glance in the mall - almost anywhere. It is in the nature of being human.

Friendships are different from relationships that are inappropriate. That said, if you do NOT allow her to explore her rightful freedoms, it will upset her. She will become resentful and begin to feel feel controlled. Then, begin to hate you.

Better that you should explain to her openly, with no hidden agenda, how much you love her, and hw much you are afraid that you might lose her. Give her time and space to talk about her feelings - and this is important, without interrupting her. Listen, then listen harder, and between you, you will be able to work things out.

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