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Ask Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA Your Own Question
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 34656
Experience:  MBBS, MS
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I hurt the man I love out of frustration. I expressed some

Customer Question

I hurt the man I love out of frustration. I expressed some things in a text message. I haven't heard from him since his reply that I hurt him. No return calls texts or visits. He has shut down since last week. He say he loves only through text or voicemail never in person.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA replied 1 year ago.

I am sorry that your question was unanswereed for long.

Since how long was the relationship?

Is it possible for you to divulge more; which you wrote to him in test message?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have been friends with a guy that experienced a divorce. We have been friends for 16 yrs. When he was going through his divorce we started getting very close. Once my feelings got involved he had women friends calling. He would break dates to be with other women. I got tired of my heart being broken so I walked away and didn't contact him for 6 years. He called me out of the blew and apologized for the errors of his ways and asked to start over. I stated I'll give it a try. We have been talking for a year. He text that he loves me but never say it verbally. I have made arrangements to hang out and he puts me on hold and declines at the last minute. He has in so many words said I was desperate. Hurt my feelings and never apologized. So this week I stated I am tired of him ignoring text and calls. If it's someone that fine just remember what goes around comes around. He said I hurt him and dumped me by text
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
We haven't spoken in a week. .
Expert:  Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA replied 1 year ago.

Sorry for the delay. I apologize for your wait.

Let me analyze few of the things you mentioned but there are so many things involved in a long term relationship that it may not be easy to rationalize everything in short span of time.

There are few things which you know already, but perhaps accepting is not easy, as there may be something which keeps you attracted towards your this friend. He has not been keeping promises and appointments; which is the least expected in a serious relationship. But somehow you ignore the shortcoming and kept going. But once it went over the roof; you mentioned it, which was very normal reaction. And now he is offended.

Actually he never took care of your hurts when he puts you on hold and declines at the last minute and many other things. But the same medicine has been bitter for him.

So my counsel is; do you still want to continue with the relationship? You know that you may be ignored and hurt in future too! If that is worth meeting this guy which has something which you long on. You may make more efforts like going to his office or home to meet him and mend the things. But otherwise you may consider saying it a quit.

The only question for you to answer is; Do you want give it one more try?

Please feel free to discuss it further.

Wishing you all the very best in life.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He says he loves but he doesn't say it verbally only in text and voicemail. Received a text stating he is regrouping..
Expert:  Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA replied 1 year ago.

Some people are slightly uncomfortable or shy to express their sentiments personally. Text and voice message are good enough. Give this a one more try and clearly explain your expectations from him. That would help you both, in long term.

It is privilege assisting you.

Please let me know if you have further queries or unanswered questions.

Please consider a positive rating if this interaction has been satisfactory, as this is the only way we experts are credited and compensated for the time and work. You are not charged again for giving a rating.

Thank you.

Wishing you all the very best in life.

Expert:  Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA replied 12 months ago.

Best wishes,
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Expert:  Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA replied 11 months ago.

Please let me know if I can do anything further for you.

Best wishes and kindest regards,

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