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Thank you for being so open about where things are for you. It is always hard to get "advice" from friends, because they are not in it and can't know what you struggle with within yourself. When I read your words, it sounds to me like you were clear on what you want now and that is to be with him and live a wonderfully happy life together. Maybe you needed this jolt and seeing the toxicity of the last relationship clearly to realize that there wasn't something missing...the thing that was missing was your ability to fully let go and be loved in totality. But I here you may be there now. I don't know what being single gets you....a life of going out and meeting others while longing for him? Gaining more clarity? Maybe, but I think you are getting that now. While there are no guarantees about any relationship in life you can say that your desire and intention is to be together for always. If you feel that one foot is out the door then ask for some more time from him, but I have a sneaking suspicion this is where you want to be.
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