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TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3442
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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I'm going to try and make this as short as possible and if

Customer Question

My name is ***** ***** I'm going to try and make this as short as possible and if anyone would like to hear more or ask me more questions, that would be great.
I had a very good male friend, (I will call him G. in High School. After we graduated everyone went there separate ways. I was a late bloomer with social media and I believe I finally got on Facebook maybe 2011 or 2012. G. and I of course, became Facebook friends, as I did with a lot of people I went to school with. I even sent him a private message asking him what he was up to, asking about his children (by the way he was divorced). In June of 2014 I private messaged him again and said hi, what are you up to, he answered me right away. It was the day of his son's High School Graduation and G. and his mom were getting ready to go to the ceremony. He told his mom he was talking to me and she was asking my parents name and remembering if she knew them (we grew up in the same town) We exchanged phone numbers and made a plan to talk soon. A week later he called me one evening. We talked for a couple hours catching up, laughing and just having fun. It was just like it was 32 years ago in High School. He said he would call me soon and I played with him & tease him telling him we will see. Next day, guess who texts me?? Yes it was G. this went on daily and then he finally said, since we get along so well I would like to see if this could become something and he told me no pressure on my part. I said I want to see if we could have something. Now he lives 6 hours away from me, but his brother lives in the same area and his Aunt & cousins about 1/2 hour away. In other words, he comes down here.
He finally was able to come out and see me & his brother in July 2014. He was coming on a Friday and he knew I was leaving for a vacation in Hawaii on Sunday, so we knew we had Friday & Saturday with each other. We got together later Friday night (he didn't get in town till later, went to his brothers took a shower) and we sat outside by my pool from 12 midnight until 5 am talking, laughing and then he finally kissed me. He then he asked me if he should go home to his brothers or could we just lay down and cuddle and try to get a little sleep. We laid down talked, got a little shut and both kept our clothes on. Around 9 am he left to got to his brothers, do a few things, while I finished packing for my trip and he came back over that night. He also opened up to me both nights about family things and personal stuff. A few years ago, he had a really great job working for the State at Caldrons, well he told me the "Bitch" got him fired, I knew he had an ex girlfriend from doing a little detective work on Facebook before I saw him, but there were no alarms, I knew they were over, etc. We went to lay down and ended up sleeping together, which I am fine with, but he was not. He had been drinking with his brother, & was very tired. He could not perform and as soon as I had to get ready to leave on my trip, he was gone! Gave me a hug told me we could talk while I was in Hawaii and that he might still be here when I got back.
He was not here when I got back. I called him & he said he had to get back for his daughters swim meet. we texted back and forth a lot an then one I evening I saw it on Facebook he was back with his ex! I was destroyed! My cousin & I had done some detective work on her and even did some background checks on G. and her. We figured out they had dated for 12 plus years, she had him evicted once, we saw what not nice things he had said about her on Facebook before and they were back together. I left him a not so nice voicemail (which is not me at all) and unfriended him on Facebook. December of 2014 I texted wishing him a Merry Christmas and he got back to me and then we became FB friends again. We texted on and off and to this day, I still believe he is my soulmate. It will be 2 years next week since I saw him and I cannot get him off my mind. I hope this isn't to confusing and if you have questions, I'm happy to talk more.
One other thing, since he got fired from his job, I don't believe he's had any full time employment, just jobs here and there. He was living with his ex in her home, he does not have his own place and before he lived with her, he lived at a friends house. She works, I don't believe he is at all right now, he's on FB all hours early morning all all throughout the day. I know he sounds like a loser and despite how he broke my heart, I believe he is a good man, just make stupid choices. Any I want to know if it could still work with us. I have loved this guy since High School.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

I have the full picture and to be direct, I do not see much materializing with him even if the love is there. I can't comment on his choices but I do believe that if his intentions were to be together then that would and could have happened a while back. I think it sounds like you want to fix and heal him but he hasn't come to you for that. I think it may be good for a while but then return back to how things have gone in the past. Sometimes the timing in life just isn't right and in this case it seems like it may be that.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Please do not hesitate to ask me any more questions should you have them, or if you don't understand something.
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

I know you may want to hear something sure this could work, but I just don't see that for you. Seems like he has been dealing with a lot for many years and it seems ongoing. I get that you love him and want it all with him and you can certainly give it a chance, but I worry you will end up in the same space.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Please let me know how I can support you further.

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