Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP
I am sorry to hear of your pain and know how much sadness and anxiety you have knowing what tomorrow brings. There is no easy answer here as it is something that you will go through, experience the pain and loss but with each passing day things will ease as a new routine develops for you and your kids.
How specifically can I support you?
If proceedings are about to begin it seems that she is clear on what she desires....so not sure that re-engaging is on her screen. I would be pleasing and accommodating and let her see the man she fell in love with. You can also with love in your tone, let her know you desire to remain together and work on things. More than that, if she is unwilling, you cannot do. Hard to accept, but it may be the only option.
In divorce, many people forget the person with whom they fell in love...so let her see that man and hope that she can take it all in.
If you believe she is on the fence...then let her see the man she has loved and has raised kids with...be open, be loving and be respectful. Try and speak with her to let her know you will do whatever you can to regain the trust and work and you just ask for a bit of time before you go down this path.
You can also send her a note tonight letting her know all you will do to make things work and to build trust again....she just has to say the word and you are ready to work.
You must make sure you are not overstepping any boundaries. I know you say she is on the fence, but her moving forward indicates she may be clear, so be cautious not to overstep if you try and talk with her.
Let me know how else I can support you.
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