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I need help, I'm deaf and I made a huge mistake and

Hey I need help...

Hey I need help , I'm deaf and I made a huge mistake and don't want to lose my fiancé
My fiancé wanted me over her family house but I was with my friends and she misses me . When she hang up to go sleep . I was at hotel lobby and this girl wanted to show my friends something into their room . I went to bathroom and that stranger girl grabs my face and kissed me and tries to put condom on me so I got freaked out and pushed her away and walked out back to lobby room . So I had to tell my fiancé what happened 3 days after cause I was scared and she thought I meant I did had sex With her but I didn't cause I wasn't explaining to her right I was just to panic , so I told her the fully story 2 more days after my sister tries to calm me down and she asked why I didn't tell her that in first place cause she was crying and suffer and I told her I was scared nervous and panic didn't know what I was trying to say . But she seem to be a little okay cause she thought I did had sex with stranger but I didn't . Now she's asking me for space 1-2 weeks to trust me . I don't want her to think I'm lying . And she also asked why I didn't call her after what happened and get ride home and I told her I was just scared and panic .

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Answered in 3 minutes by:

6/17/2016

Counselor: TherapistJen, LCSW replied 6 years ago

TherapistJen, LCSW

Category: Relationship

Satisfied Customers: 6,511

Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker

Verified

I am sorry this has happened. Reassure her again how scared you were and that you love her and only her. Give her the space she is asking for to feel the trust again and hopefully she can come back around and all will be well.I know you want to convince her but pushing her before she is ready may push her further away. So give her the space she needs to sort it out.

Customer reply replied 6 years ago

Okay thank you

Counselor: TherapistJen, LCSW replied 6 years ago

be strong. send her a message that tells her how you love her and are sorry this happened but she can trust you and you will do what you need...giving her space...to sort it out so you can reconnect and be stronger than before.

Customer reply replied 6 years ago

I told her the fully story last night and she seem to be okay then before but still asking for space . She also told me not to hang out with my friends ever again and if she sees him she would give him dirty looks . This happened last Saturday and today is my first day trying give her space and I want to see her badly but I never let her think , suffer or trust me

Counselor: TherapistJen, LCSW replied 6 years ago

I know how you want to see her, but your best chance is to honor her desire.

Customer reply replied 6 years ago

Okay and she told me to prove to be a man to myself and take care of myself until she is ready to talk .

Counselor: TherapistJen, LCSW replied 6 years ago

and then that is what you will do! You can do it.

Customer reply replied 6 years ago

Okay and also worry that she told her family what happened in first place is not what I meant and what if she told her family what I told her fully story last night . What if they think I'm making that up , cover it , lying or changing storyI was just to panic and scared to tell her full story in first place

Counselor: TherapistJen, LCSW replied 6 years ago

It is possible she has told them, but at this point we can't worry about that. We can focus on you and honoring her wish and then hopefully she calms down and knows you didn't do anything and all will be fine. I understand how scared you were and I believe she may come around and see that too.

Customer reply replied 6 years ago

Okay great that's all I need to know . So I'll prove to be a man and give her space . Do I send her cute text on Monday ?

Counselor: TherapistJen, LCSW replied 6 years ago

No because she will feel like you are not honoring her wish. Pull back and focus on you until she wants to talk as that is what she has asked.

Customer reply replied 6 years ago

Oh okay . We been together for 3 years what if she thinks why I haven't check on her awhile . I mean she's used me being annoy to her . I never gave her space since I met her and this is my first time giving space

Counselor: TherapistJen, LCSW replied 6 years ago

you will annoy her possibly if she has asked for space until she is ready and then you don't honor that. You must honor this request. She knows you care and love her...let her be

Customer reply replied 6 years ago

I don't know why I couldn't tell her fully story in first place then last night . I made her think it was that worst before and her suffer for no reason . I was panic and scared .

Counselor: TherapistJen, LCSW replied 6 years ago

I understand. The fear took over. give her time she needs and then you can discuss it all with her

TherapistJen, LCSW

Category: Relationship

Satisfied Customers: 6,511

Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker

Verified

TherapistJen and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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Customer reply replied 6 years ago

Okay that's all I need to know . Thanks Jen

Counselor: TherapistJen, LCSW replied 6 years ago

My pleasure. Be strong and let me know how it all is going next week.

Customer reply replied 6 years ago

Okay I'll let you know how it goes !

Counselor: TherapistJen, LCSW replied 6 years ago

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