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Good morning. Hopefully I am able to assist you. If you don't mind, please tell me a bit more about your marriage and how long you have been married and such. Right now, it sounds like you feel that he is making excuses about not being sexually available to you and that can be leading to an insecurity? If I were you, and I know it may feel uncomfortable, I would speak to him about your needs, but be vulnerable and honest without being blameful. You can say something like, " I really do appreciate our intimacy, I just want more of it. I miss being close to you and it was more than just sexual satisfaction, it was about our closeness. I sometimes feel that you seem interested, when the task is actually unavailable. Work calls you away and we do not have the opportunity to fully enjoy one another. I hope that you understand that my intentions are to keep our romance alive and I just want to be with you. If there are some suggestions that you have for us to be able to become closer, please help me to make these arrangements or adjustments. I don't want to feel disconnected from you and right now I feel insecure about us. So, please let me know how we can improve this area."
This approach leaves off with a suggestion of him coming up with ideas and leaves it "open-ended" so he cant get by with a simple yes or no answer. I think that the more open you are about feeling insecure but also that you affirm your love for him, the more positive feedback you will receive :)
Best wishes, Jules
I just wanted to follow back up and see how things have been going for you?