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Dr Ted Manos
Dr Ted Manos, Doctor (MD)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 705
Experience:  Self employed 40 years experience Ob-Gyn
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Time is ticking....I am a 66 year old male, but look and

Customer Question

Time is ticking....
I am a 66 year old male, but look and feel as if I were in my 30’s. Divorced for +4 years now; with two boys, one graduated college and the other still in college; both working or working and school. They live at home still because of the cost of college; they choose to commute from home. Eight months ago, I decided to start dating again and met (let’s call her) Pam; 56. We have become very close and I want her to move in and us plan a date to marry; or vise versa. She said that she cannot because during the time we have spent together only a few times we were “alone” at home. The boys were usually there and/or their friends were over and we could not have a quiet night at home. I told her we could plan our time when the kids were not home or inform them we were making plans for the weekend. I also said that soon they would be on their own and away. She said I am not marrying you and your kids… I want you. I told her I wanted her but was not going to give up my kids to marry her. Well she has given me a month to get things straight at home. There are a couple small issues; like having them to not leave clothes all over the house and to pick up after themselves when they eat or watch TV. It has been a “male house” since the divorce; and with the boys in school and all three working; we only have our days off and weekends to do chores.
I am not sure where to go from here. I love her and have told the boys how I feel about Pam, but there has to be some kind of fair compromise we could both live with. Is she being too demanding or am I looking at this the wrong way and have completely missed the point altogether? Please help… any suggestions?
Time is ticking…
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Ted Manos replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I'm Dr Manos M.D.
Expert:  Dr Ted Manos replied 1 year ago.
You have a difficult situation as your girl friend sees the situation at home and the increased demands of running a household. I imagine she currently lives in a house or rental situation and the demands of working and tending to the chores that never go away in her space. Women have a capacity for satisfying the needs of a household but the energy for it only goes so far. My wife and I enjoy our peace with adult children married and on their own. When they visit it requires more attention than we normally have to give. Anyway, it appears she is making a choice not to become a part of the male domain you currently live in. Maybe things will look differently in the next year or two. Any future relationships will have the same choices that another woman would take on.