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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3442
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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My new partner was using viagra without telling me. After a

Customer Question

my new partner was using viagra without telling me. After a couple of months i suffered vaginal damage leading to a bladder prolapse. i was so ashamed, believing that i was suddenly having accelerated age-related sex problems ( i was 59, he was 65) and was also very protective of him, not wanting him to feel he was responsible, as the relationship was so new and i didn't want it to become problem-focussed. i struggled on trying to continue to hold up my side of the sexual relationship using lubricants, which were unsuccessful, and my physical problems became worse. then i discovered by accident that viagra was involved, 4 months into the relationship and 2 1/2 months after the physical problems arose. i was devastated, first at having been lied to, then at having been controlled (he deciding if and when we would have sex) and finally, felt i and my body had been cast aside, i was left to carry the humiliation of thinking i was the one who wasn't functioning sexually, and he didn't care about my body, continued to use viagra rather than own up to it, even though it was obvious that it was damaging me. he has offered to go to counselling with me but i'd like your feedback? i'm hurt and lost confidence and also very very angry about the damage to my body and his lack of care
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.
I am sorry to hear of all the physical problems and the emotional pain as well. It seems like you were both having some issues around shame and embarrassment and for whatever reason could not discuss fully all that you were feeling and experiencing. Sadly, many men use viagra without sharing that information as their shame is so high. Yes, in a perfect situation he would have been able to discuss it, but he didn't and that caused you further pain. If you love him and desire to be with him then yes start talking and if counseling will help with that, then I am all for it. It could certainly help both of you to be more open with one another and support one another when you are both going through things. If you are too hurt to try, then only you can know that, but I don't hear that in you...yes, I hear that you are hurt but I think you might feel better trying to work on things before you call it quits.
Expert:  alma-cssm replied 1 year ago.
We received your customer service inquiry regarding password ***** However, we are unable to respond to you because we do not have your email address. Please contact customer support at***@******.*** and provide us with your email address and a link to this question page so that we can help you. (http://www.justanswer.com/relationship/9ov7t-new-partner-using-viagra-without-telling-me.html). Thank you, ***** ***** Customer Support Team.

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