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Ask TherapistJen Your Own Question
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3491
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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And my partner says sex isn't important we've be

Customer Question

***** ***** and my partner says sex isn't important we've been togther for 3 years and have 2 children
JA: Thanks. Can you give me any more details about your issue?
Customer: My partner says today he doesn't want to have sex he feels it's not important we've been together 3years I don't no if it's Cus I have a high sex drive and I want it a lot but he's told me that today I don't no what to say I feel so upset and like I can't carry on with this if there is no sex he says there isn't anybody else x
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Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.
Is the sex life totally gone or just not frequent enough for your desire? Often with children and life routines, the desire for sex can lessen but it is important to create time and space for one another to carve it out. It's not the everything in a relationship but it is a big part of it and both must feel content with the intimacy within the relationship. If he is stressed or depressed that could cause his desire to lessen and maybe you could talk to him about how he is feeling and other than its not important get him to open up about how he is feeling.
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.
The question for you becomes if nothing changes around intimacy and sexual connection and he is unwilling to work on this aspect are you willing and desirous of leaving the relationship? I know how frustrated you are and want more with him...let's start by continuing the dialog you have with him and see what may be going on for him that his desire has lessened. I don't know how old he is to see if that plays a part, don't know if there is a medical issue that he is concerned with. We could also start by having him seen by his doctor to rule out physical reasons and then you can begin to work on the emotional connection between the two of you.
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.
Let me know how I can support you.