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CounselorJules, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 786
Experience:  Licensed Professional Counselor
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How can I let go of hurt. My partner and I broke up because

Customer Question

How can I let go of hurt. My partner and I broke up because I wouldn't move in with him after 10 years together. 4 days later he had one night stand and dated the girl for almost two weeks with no more intimacy. He stopped the relationship and sent me a text saying he was sorry and had sobbed every night. I took him back but since then I have seen pictures of the two of them together and they seemed happy. I also saw pics of him out till all hours of the night dancing and drinking. All the while I stayed home and cried. Now I find myself questioning. Am I second best. Did he break it off or did the younger girl. I'm really hurt. How do I let this go. He won't talk about it at all and gets angry if I mention it.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  CounselorJules replied 1 year ago.

Well, first, thank you for reaching out. I encourage you to remember your self respect during this time. As a wounded partner, you have every right to work through the issues. Otherwise, you will find yourself full of resentment and that lack of forgiveness will never lead to a healthy relationship. He may be ashamed or embarrassed of his choices, but he does need to take responsibility for his actions. Also, if you have asked the questions, and he has already provided answers, you can't hound him on a daily basis because those negative interactions will harm your future in the relationship. I encourage you to seek support through a counselor or a pastoral staff member if you find yourself not being able to let it go. A relationship should empower you though, not create more insecurities

Expert:  CounselorJules replied 1 year ago.

Also, I encourage you to take the time to write down your questions for him, process your insecurities individually before you bring it to him. Process of knowing details will help you or harm you. Can you forgive him? If you think you can, you have to focus on how tHis can create an opportunity of growth.

Expert:  CounselorJules replied 1 year ago.

I hope that you have been able to review the information provided and that you will provide a positive rating so that I can receive credit for the information given. Thank so much! Julie