Good morning. I would like to be able to help you. I'm sorry for the wait in receiving a response.
First, I'm sorry that you are in pain and dealing with this loss. It may be beneficial to understand the grief cycle during this time. We tend to go through phases of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and then acceptance. You will be the best judge of which phase or even phases you may be in.
It does sound that you desperately miss her. My suggestion is allowing the dust to settle and then contacting her and ask for time to discuss or process what she felt was missing in the relationship or what perpetuated the unhappiness. I know you've asked her recently to meet and it wasn't received well, but give it more time. You've apologized, but she may need to see actions toward a solution, or real changes. Maybe this conflict can bring an opportunity for you to recognize how you can grow or increase your own awareness in relationships? Regardless of the outcome with this relationship, the courtship could lend to more insight, awareness, maturity, empathy, and vulnerability which will help you in any relationship. Also, I encourage you to read "the five love languages" by Gary Chapman. It helps us to understand how people give and receive love. It may help you understand what she may have needed, but more importantly, it helps you know what you need. Knowing this will help you assert and communicate your needs.
Let her see actions and steps toward your own self-actualization. You sound like you want to be a good partner--I commend you for asking for help. Julie!