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Are you a robot or a person. I'm dating a new guy. Something
Something about an ex girlfriend From Customer Hi, I'm a young woman and i've recently just started 'dating' this new guy. I'm nearly 24 and he is 25. We've talked very frequently since we met (online) and we have been speaking around a month. This week I have exams, and so we planned to meet shortly after them as he doesn't live that far away and so that I don't have to stress too much. I like him quite a lot, and so far he seems quite patient and understanding. However, we've made a lot of progress in communicating with video calls. Tonight however, we were on a call, and his sister came into the room. (He's had some money issues lately.) She asked him who he was talking to and he said I was someone else. When she walked out the room I asked who the girl he mentioned was, and he told me it was his ex girlfriend and that it was just easier than his sister asking questions. Then however, he proceeded to tell me how she was involved in his current money issues and that she broke up with him because she had to support him and clung to her too much. She lives a days travel away because they did their studies in the same country. Anyway, to summarise, he stated that he messed up a lot and she seems to hate him, so that he feels really bad for everything that happened and he needs to collect his stuff in a few months and wants to apologise to her and talk to her over dinner. He's made it clear to me that he wants us to move forward as a relationship in the new few months, but i'm not really convinced with this need to take his ex to dinner. He says he never got to say goodbye properly cause he got kicked out and he just needs to make it up to her and then he can properly move on from the past. I don't want to tell him that he shouldn't be accountable for things he did, or that he shouldn't apologise, and I don't want to tell him what to do, but I've made it clear that this doesn't make much sense to me and by the point he would be seeing her, we would hypothetically be months into something of our own and I don't understand. I could take an immediately cynical approach but it's hard to ask my friends about this because one of them is super cynical (finding lies where there clearly aren't ones, adding to the cynicism so I can't take it seriously) and the other is a lot like me, an optimist, wanting to believe the best. He's told me not to throw this away just because he has to see this one person and that there's nothing between them anymore. The problem is, is that I'm not convinced that he needs to spend quality time with her to amend a relationship that was meant to close (according to him) 9 months ago. Due to financial reasons and distance he hasn't yet. He said that he thought he would get to spend one more time with her but then he met me, but I don't know what to believe or to think. He says he wants to be in a relationship with me, but I'm torn because I'm concerned there's still something between them and that I may get hurt. Can someone please help me?… read more
Dr.G.
Dr.G.
Counseling Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
484 satisfied customers
I don't know! I realize now my ex girlfriend is dismissive
Ok thank you. I realize now my ex girlfriend is dismissive avoidant. I've also just found out the truth about what triggered this. My oldest, closest friend talked to her behind my back. This friend moved away from London and wants her friends to live near her. I think this was her motive. She suggested that we move in together and move to her town. Until then it had been fantastic, and not a hint of any problems. Inclredibly warm, caring , affectionate, etc. From that moment she distanced me, seemed to find fault with everything I did, and a month later finished the relationship. I've missed out in that I had a serious operation shortly afterwards, and when she tried to talk to me I was unable to engage due to a huge amount of medication. I now see the picture but probably too late, as the break up was three and a half months ago. When she tried to talk to me was two and a half months ago. I've not seen her for 2 months. We exchange some messages - she seems warm, affectionate and caring , from a safe distance, but doesn't want to see me. It seems the feelings are still there. shouudl I just give up and move on? … read more
DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD
Doctor
Doctoral Degree
396 satisfied customers
My girlfriend of 2 1/2yrs just moved out 2 wks ago. We never
My girlfriend of 2 1/2yrs just moved out 2 wks ago. We never really had a fight in that time, yes a few disagreements but no real fight. First off she is 26 with one daughter Im 40 w/ 3 daughters. The… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master's Degree
2,410 satisfied customers
My ex girlfriend and I had been together 3 and a half years,
My ex girlfriend and I had been together 3 and a half years, since we were in high school. We are 20 now, and things were going great and we had plans to move to Sacramento next year to go to school t… read more
DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD
Doctor
Doctoral Degree
396 satisfied customers
For my whole life I have been alone, I had many problems to
Hello, For my whole life I have been a very shy guy, I had a total of 5 relationships, I was always a loner, preferred computers, video-games, etc., I had many problems to speak with the opposite sex.… read more
Alicia_MSW
Alicia_MSW
Psychotherapist
Master's Degree
468 satisfied customers
My girlfriend and I have been together for almost four years.
My girlfriend and I have been together for almost four years. I've been trying to look for advice with my closest friends and family, but they do not know what to say. I really need help. My girlfrien… read more
Dr. Norman Brown
Dr. Norman Brown
Marriage Therapist
Doctoral Degree
427 satisfied customers
I meet my current girlfriend 3 years ago, we fill in love right
I meet my current girlfriend 3 years ago, we fill in love right away and we decide to move together after 3 month. We spent 2 years living together, we had good days but we had our bad days too, one d… read more
TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn
Counselor
Master's Degree
1,747 satisfied customers
I have been dating my girlfriend for 4 years now. When we first
I have been dating my girlfriend for 4 years now. When we first started dating it was rough. I broke up with her a few times over a few issues that i had with her, but we some how are still together a… read more
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Adjunct Professor
Master's Degree
1,411 satisfied customers
My wife and I had a stormy relationship that lasted off and
My wife and I had a stormy relationship that lasted off and on for 18 years. There were signs early on that we were not good for each other but we ignored them. We separated once in 2000 for three mon… read more
Ryan LCSW
Ryan LCSW
Psychotherapist
Master's Degree
176 satisfied customers
I have been dating my girlfriend for almost three years and
I have been dating my girlfriend for almost three years and we both had just graduated from college. Towards the end of the year she asked me to talk about our relationship. I have noticed a differenc… read more
Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige
Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
1,354 satisfied customers
Hi. 2 years ago I found my girlfriend online. She was 21 at
Hi. 2 years ago I found my girlfriend online. She was 21 at the time and had an 8 month old daughter whom i came to love dearly. I was 24 and living in another city. A year later i finished my studies… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master's Degree
2,410 satisfied customers
hello, I had been with my girlfriend for 4 and a half years.
hello, I had been with my girlfriend for 4 and a half years. We met at University and have been happy and madly in love with each other. This was until a couple of weeks ago she said she needed space … read more
Howard Wise
Howard Wise
Master's Degree
223 satisfied customers
hello, I had been with my girlfriend for 4 and a half years.
hello, I had been with my girlfriend for 4 and a half years. We met at University and have been happy and madly in love with each other. This was until a couple of weeks ago she said she needed space … read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master's Degree
3,592 satisfied customers
My ex-girlfriend moved to live with me for 7 months 3 states
My ex-girlfriend moved to live with me for 7 months 3 states away since we were tired of doing the long distance relationship, I am 25 she is 23. Over this time she did not attempt to make many friend… read more
Mark Manley
Mark Manley
131 satisfied customers
I am trying to get over someone and its not going well. Our
I am trying to get over someone and it's not going well. Our initial relationship was only about 6 months four years ago. I did everything I could to make it work, but as they say, she just wasn't tha… read more
Dear Debra
Dear Debra
Advice Columnist
Earning Associate degree
1,818 satisfied customers
Hi - Around this time last year I was with a girl who I adored
Hi - Around this time last year I was with a girl who I adored utterly, we were both very much in love, however, we lived about 2 hours apart and after about 8 months I started to wonder where the rel… read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master's Degree
3,592 satisfied customers
I am not sure how to feel or act toward my girlfriend when
I am not sure how to feel or act toward my girlfriend when she has just told me she and kiss her ex and hung out with someone else since we have been dating. I try to keep a conversation going and it … read more
Angela
Angela
Counselor
490 satisfied customers
i feel my girlfriend is pushing me away and will not talk to
i feel my girlfriend is pushing me away and will not talk to me i think she may be bored of the relationship? as we have not had sex for 8 months after she had a termination, what can i do to reignite… read more
KimberlyF
KimberlyF
High School or GED
554 satisfied customers
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Meet the Experts:

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Counselor

1,747 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Ms Chase

Ms Chase

Life Coach

853 satisfied customers

Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Psychotherapist

468 satisfied customers

Specializing in relationship/family counseling

Dr. Norman Brown

Dr. Norman Brown

Marriage Therapist

427 satisfied customers

Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples

DrJackiePhD

DrJackiePhD

Doctor

396 satisfied customers

I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

366 satisfied customers

Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.

Suzanne

Suzanne

Therapist, LCSW

338 satisfied customers

Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

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Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

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