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CounselorJules, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 765
Experience:  Licensed Professional Counselor
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Some of my wife male friends ,I suspect, they had a

Customer Question

Some of my wife male friends ,I suspect, they had a relationship with my wife..I suspect all my brothers and my sister could be involved..Also, on-line investigating I found out recently that we had a residence in Cedar Rapids and a male friend she may of known is living in the town I live in..what should I do..
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  CounselorJules replied 1 year ago.

Hi, I'm available to help. Thank you for seeking support during such a (what sounds to be) confusing time. First, I would ensure that I'm not allowing my anxiety to breed into paranoia. Sometimes when our emotions are involved, we lose ourselves in our concerns and can become irrational. It sounds as though you have done some investigative work, but I would suggest actual communication with your wife regarding the issues. I know it may not sound like an easy option to follow, but it may be the only option, unless you would like to formally hire an investigator to follow up. I would suggest that you seek formal support at this time. This is an incredibly delicate and difficult situation. I hope you have a support system available; it sounds as though you may want to find a relationship counselor, a social worker, or even a pastoral counselor to have for available support.

Expert:  CounselorJules replied 1 year ago.

As I looked at another question online, I realized that your wife my be deceased. I sincerely ***** ***** this is the case. Please let me know if I can remain of any type of service. I would like to help you come up with options that you feel will be beneficial to you or provide clarity

Expert:  CounselorJules replied 1 year ago.

On another note, I would like to offer this.... Any loss, relationship, through death, job, etc, can and often will cause you grief. Understanding the grief cycle is important. There are 5 phases, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. During these phases, one may potentially allow their emotions and thoughts to get away from them and begin to control them. Depression and anxiety can lead to faulty thinking patterns and cause troubling issues in our daily life. Before you focus too much on your partner's actions, I would encourage you to focus on your emotions and healing. You have to consider your health before you can wholly go forward and attempt to gain insight. My other question is what do you hope to accomplish through finding out the answers to some of these questions? We often think that we will gain peace of mind, but there are times when it destroys our positive memories or we feel that everything was a lie. I just want you to be completely healthy to manage your emotions before you further investigate; in other words, be healthy enough to handle whatever answers you may receive and consider how the knowledge will help or hurt you.

I would like to further assist you. Please respond when available. If no further questions are pending, please rate and review my suggestions. I hope that you find clarity and I appreciate the strength that you demonstrate in recognizing that you are in need of support or answers. Best wishes, Julie

Expert:  CounselorJules replied 1 year ago.

I hope that you have found the information provided to be satisfied. Please do not forget to take the time to review and accept the answers, as it is the only way for me, as the provider, to receive credit. I am optimistic that you will have found this to have been helpful. Thanks in advance, Julie