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Ask TherapistMaryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1704
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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I started a coaching program last year. Not to into it I met

Customer Question

I started a coaching program last year. Not to long into it I met a fellow member online who wanted to connect and network practice the material we were learning. We first connected and spoke for 3 hours. To be honest I was interested in her right away but put it in the back of my mind- she lives 5 thousand miles away from me. We began to chat and talk every single day, we spent hours talking. It was just a friendship at first I was actually casually dating someone else. As time went on she started to hint to me she liked me. And by hint I mean she told me flat out I have feelings for you and want to see where this goes. I was scared and pushed away. She wanted me to visit and I said yes but financially I was actually suffering at the time so out of the trip. She told me she loved me and didn't care if I said it back, I really cared about her perhaps loved her too but was afraid to say it I had been burned in the past. Sure enough time went on and we began to chat less often I noticed she was a bit distant. I had tried to say hey let's slow down because the love bomb scared me. Now I was really scared and booked a flight to visit her ASAP. I booked for 10 days. When I arrived she was great but distant. We kissed that first night and it was a bit awkward, I don't know how comfortable she was. I honestly at first seeing her new I was totally in love with her. I mean i have fallen hard. Our conversations were the best part of my day, I am still totally in love and have never felt this way before. Needless to say she pushed me away when I was there the first 4 days, I thought j was going to have to go home early. I stayed with her and lay in her bed with her totally heart broken. I told her one day I was going out by myself for the day and that we needed space. This helped and she picked me up later and we talked about our awkward phase. I told her how I was shocked and couldn't believe the switch she had really shown me no love. We started becoming more affectionate and even slept with each other many times. She was still distant though, she was not acting the same way. I felt like I bored her to a degree. As she was driving me to tr aiport the last day of my trip I told her I loved her. She told me she loved me too. But it didn't feel same. Later she told me I should love her and love whoever else I want or whatever I want, she said we can love eachother and life because we are in a tough situation. Right now I am totally in love with her but don't say it. It doesn't et returned when I do and I feel as though she does not feel the same way. I don't know what happened. Do I still have a chance. I would marry her today if I could, I feel like she is the person I have dreamed of no one has ever made me feel such a deep love. I try not to chase her it's not attractive in being cool and giving her space, I'm back home but she has my heart totally. I don't know what to do? I don't want to sound needy but I love her and want to know if I should move on. Please any advice would help what should I do
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
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Expert:  Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA replied 1 year ago.


I am Dr. Arun and will be helping you today.

I am sorry that your question was unanswered for long.

How are both of your financial situations?

With so much of the geographical distance, how do both of you intend to cover that? Was there any discussion where to stay and work?