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Ask Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA Your Own Question
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 35063
Experience:  MBBS, MS
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Being aspergic - I am not very keen on relationships. I am

Customer Question

Being aspergic - I am not very keen on relationships. I am living with another aspergic friend, and we are going to the same veterinary school and like the same things. We are also living at the same place and travel in the same vehicle... so this does open tons of time to talk with her and be with her. And I am the only guy in our school... so there is that. This valentine's day I got her flowers and she was very happy. We hugged. But I got word that she doesn't feel a connection with me days later even though we hugged because I don't talk about personal things or show that I actually like her. But they said she said "yet" at the end when talking with them. So I feel this is a big possibility if I act on this.
Maybe I just don't know how to actually show I care the amount that I do. I already have a plan of getting her a cake based off her favorite video game on Saint Patrick's Day, a gift on Good Friday, a gift on April fools day. Maybe cleaning the dishes or making her dinner. I am very humerus person so I take that opportunity. She loves playing the final fantasy game and watching youtube.
How can I start showing her I really do care today? We take 30 minute commute to school, we spend 8 hours at school, and another five hours at home before going to bed. I guess I never really do ask her how her day is... or offer any real sincere comments. I have some issues showing what I feel, but it is costing me.
I really need help in this department before I give up on love entirely. it never really occurred to me. Any tips... ideas... etc, are very much appreciated.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA replied 1 year ago.


I am Dr. Arun and will be helping you today.

I am sorry that your question was unanswered for long.

I understand that it is not easy, but you can convey your feeling either personally or by a text message or email or a note. This is an high time that you express yourself. You have to take the initiative. I am sure she would convey you if she wants to take the relationship further or just want to be as it is; like a friend.

Please feel free for your follow up questions.

I would be happy to assist you further, if you need any more information.

Thanks for using Just Answer.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Do you think it would be good to continue as friends for a while first then ask later and work on things? I don't get what she means by me not sharing enough personal information.
Expert:  Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA replied 1 year ago.

You can ask her now. This will stop the suspense. And be prepared if she want to be just friend. Do not get dejected. People may not be prepared for the relationship at one of point of time but may change the mind later on.

It is privilege assisting you.

Expert:  Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA replied 1 year ago.

Our fear of rejection or dejection, may keep suspense in a relationship. Most of the times hearing a no is better than keeping yourself in a suspense for long time. You feel bad for short time, hearing a no; but in long term it is better as it opens up other avenues.

It is privilege assisting you.

Please let me know if you have further queries or unanswered questions.

Please consider a positive rating if this interaction has been satisfactory, as this is the only way we experts are credited and compensated for the time and work. You are not charged again for giving a rating.

Thank you.

Wishing you all the very best in life.

Expert:  Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA replied 1 year ago.

Best wishes,
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Expert:  Dr. ARUN PHOPHALIA replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for the opportunity to answer completely your Question. Please make sure to rate me because that is how I am credited for my work.

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Thank you.

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