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I am sorry to hear of all the pain and chaos going on. It sounds like your emotions are running high and your fear is getting the best of you. He isn't responding and you are reaching out a lot and it is possibly pushing him away. The more you write, the more he is feeling annoyed. I know how hard this is, but the best thing that you can do right now is not reach out to him. Give some time and space and let him miss you and wonder how you are. I know you worry that if you stop reaching out, then he will forget you and move on, but right now all of the reaching out is having him move further away from you. Take a breather and focus on you and get out in the world and do the things you love and direct all of your energy toward the things you like. Let this play out and give some space.
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