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TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3520
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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My girlfriend and I have been living together years. She has

Customer Question

My girlfriend and I have been living together for two years. She has two kids. I have zero. I pay the rent completely. I give her 2000 a month support and she's always making ends meet with it. The children's father is a drug addict and does not support his kids or give child support.
Two days ago we got into an argument. She told me that my chest of wires is causing her anxiety and I have too much cords. She constantly nagged me about them yet they're necessary to have around the house at times of use. I am a computer programmer, and I take up about 5% of the household. She recently converted living room to her kids bedroom so I have very limited space, and felt her nagging me was rude. I see that I take up 5% of the household space, and I get attacked by her as a fault for that so we got into an argument.
Today, the same thing happened again. Her sisters are coming over tomorrow and she has a lot to clean up, and said most of the mess is mine. I told her that I wasn't happy with what she said, and it blew up to a big fight, and all I want is an apology but she says that I should know better that all women nag. I don't know if I am expecting too much. I feel like taking care of bills is a heavy burden and for her to just nag on me for taking up space when her kids are messy and have space to be messy in. She said the kids are her responsibilities but I am myself.
Am I expecting too much? Her point of view mainly is that all women nag and I should deal with it.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

It sounds to me like she could ease up a bit and you can help in the way you can...if you know that some of your "mess" causes her some distress you can go to her and let her know you will try and do a better job with those things. And at the same time, you can ask that she nag you less about these things and give you some credit on all that you do provide in the, stability, etc. Waiting for an apology usually doesn't work and so I would want both of you to acknowledge your part in things and make an effort to help the other out with issues that you both know could be a hot spot. Women may nag more when they are nervous and feeling out of control, so that should help when it can go to her and ask how you can help her in those moments. You sound like a reasonable man that does the right thing.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

let me know your thoughts.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

If all good for now, please take a moment to click on the rating tab to rate my support so that I may be credited for my time. Thanks so much in advance.