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I am sorry for this pain you are experiencing right now. It sounds like he is really under a tremendous amount of pressure and having a difficult time managing it all. It seems less about you and your relationship with him and more about all the other stress. I know it is hard, but if you can, I would be loving and supportive without pushing him and let him work through this and if you can be supportive, I do feel that things can be okay. Yes, you deserve the mutuality, but he isn't able to give it right now and because you love him, I think patience and understanding will bring things back to where you desire them to be.
Let me know your thoughts.