Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP
Hello, my name is***** would really like to help you. Can you give me more information. What exactly is your question? Are you wondering how you can get over him or are you wondering how you can make it work? Any details might be helpful. Thank you.
OK, I see now. First of all, I'm not sure he's really trying to hide it from you. He just doesn't want to talk about it with you. This could be for more than one reason. One, He wishes to keep the two separate. In other words he wants the best to both worlds. Secondly, he's wanting to basically keep you as a friend in which he feels this is none of your business. Then, he might really want something better with you and feels like that is old news. There are probably some more options that I have not even covered. The more important options, though, are your options. What are you going to do? If you are interested in a relationship, I suggest you be upfront with him. Ask him if he is interested. If he is, you have lost nothing, but you have gained a relationship. If he is not you have not lost anything that you did not have to begin with anyway. Does that make sense to you?
My guess is he is compartmentalizing his life. He has you in Malaysia and her in South Africa and he wants to keep it yet way. We cannot be sure though. No matter, he does not seem to be interested in the same depth of relationship as you are. I know that's not what you want to hear. I fear it is the truth so. The good and this is, it is best to know this now rather than later. If your content in this kind of relationship, I believe that is what he wants. If you want an exclusive relationship that does not seem to be what he has to offer. I hope that is helpful to you.
I wish I could tell you for sure why, but I can't. When I do know is, he has made it clear he does not want to talk about it. If you push the issue right now you risk pushing him away. My suggestion would be, if it is important for you to know, at least give it some time. Maybe he will be receptive later. Other than that, I would say let it go for now. My understanding is you were saying that you understand that your relationship is not exclusive. If that is the case you could have another relationship yourself if you wish. Continue as is until the point you both want something deeper. Does that make sense to you?