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Ask John-Michaels Your Own Question
John-Michaels
John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 624
Experience:  25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
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Me and my girlfriend are planning on moving in together. She

Customer Question

Me and my girlfriend are planning on moving in together. She is from India but lives here in the United States permanently. We met through our job. She is telling me that if we move in together that she would eventually like to bring her parents to stay with us for 6 months. I have a son who lives with me full time. She also has a son of her own. She is also telling me that there is a possibility that she would like for her parents to eventually live with us. I am not so sure I like what I am heading. I love her very much and would hate to lose this relationship and am kind of scared to tell her that this is not how I was forseeing our future together to be. What should I do?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  John-Michaels replied 1 year ago.

Wow, that is a tough situation. I would imagine that is a cultural thing for her. Blood is very thick in the Indian culture and it is not unusual for multiple fan fo and it is not unusual for multiple generations to cohabitate. I totally understand your apprehension, but fear by joining with her you also join with her culture and with that comes her family. I'm wondering though if there might be a compromise. Could you instead living close proximity, maybe next-door neighbors? That way you would have family close by, but not under the same roof. Another question you must ask yourself is, how permanent is this relationship? This is a lot to take on for short-term relationship. That is something you must decide for yourself though. What are your thoughts? Does that make sense? I really do want to be a help for you.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Well her parents do not work and I would think they are considered to be on the poor side because she sends them money often when they ask for it. I don't mind her sending money to help them once in a while especially since she is the one earning it. I don't really have much say in my opinion. I just didn't really see this coming and I'm afraid if I tell her that I do not agree for her parents to live with us that she will decide to leave me. What are your thoughts?
Expert:  John-Michaels replied 1 year ago.

You are probably right. I fear your relationship with her includes taking care of her parents. If you're willing to do that you can make this work. If not I'm not too sure if You have too much of a future with her. I wish I had better words to share but I fear that is where you are.

Expert:  John-Michaels replied 1 year ago.

In the end, all you can do is be honest and see what happens. Just be straightforward and let The chips fall where they may. if This is meant to be it will all work out.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thanks for your help
Expert:  John-Michaels replied 1 year ago.

I glad I could be a help! I really do hope all works out for the best.