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Alicia_MSW, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 794
Experience:  Specializing in relationship/family counseling
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About two and a half months ago my boss requested me on

Customer Question

About two and a half months ago my boss requested me on Facebook. We started talking. Found out that he liked me. We talked all the time. Our past was similar. He had three kids and I have three kids but he was also married. He didn't have feelings for his wife but was just with her. Eventually we started dating. We would talk about everything. At work we would not talk because there we aren't allowed to date our bosses so we made a point for us to not talk because he just smiles at me and would give it away that he likes me. We got along great we would rent a room just to be alone. Eventually he couldn't last a day without seeing me. About a month and a half into our relationship we purchased a house together. He told me he was committed to me and he would divorce his wife after because she was watching his kids while he worked. And didn't want her to say here take your kids I'm leaving type a deal like she's done before. He promised me things and we couldn't be more excited about living together. For two and a half months he finally left her andwas with me. I met his kids and everyone met each other. His daughter called me mom after two hours. About a week into living together everything between us was fine until one day he said he got all stressed out and took his kids to their grandmas and before he left he said it's not u its me I need to figure out what I'm going to do with my life.. He doesn't call or write me on Facebook anymore. Doesn't do anything. We worked together last nigh and when he saw me he just smiled at me like he always did and just stared at me but realized someone else from work was there so he smiled at him to to cover it up.but that was it. He was done with work and lingerd around myxarea until I left but we didn't talk. He left when I left but he's avoiding all my texts. What do I do? He's not talking to me we have a house yet he gets cold feet. Should I just face it that were done?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Alicia_MSW replied 1 year ago.

Hello, I'm Alicia. Thanks for your question, I'm happy to help you today. This is not an easy situation by any means, and I don't want to say that it's definitely over until you have a chance to sit down with him and talk this through. He owes you that much, what with everything you have been through together. It's not fair for him to just leave you like this without any real explanation -- it's not you, it's him, that's fine, but that's not enough to justify his actions and his treatment of you since the time you say he got stressed out and took the kids. Even if things are over, or he needs time (which makes sense, in a way) you still have a right to know what's what. In the end, I imagine that you don't want to be with someone in the long term who is going to act this way, and perhaps deep down you know that the relationship is probably over, but I still think that if I were you I would want the opportunity to discuss this with him and get some answers -- at least so you can have closure and move on with your life. As things stand right now, it sounds like there are a lot of loose ends that haven't been tied up, and I can imagine how difficult it is when you have to work together and he acts like nothing has happened or tries to cover things up (obviously, because you're in a professional environment he needs to act this way, but he should at least have made the effort to say something like, hey, let's talk later). I don't want to be cruel but it is almost cowardly that he ignores your texts and doesn't give you the chance to talk. You can't force him to talk, of course, but I would suggest that if it's at all possible (and it might not be), I would say that you should try to get him to set aside a time when you can talk and at least have a proper ending (or explanation). I hope things work out, one way or the other. Please let me know if you need additional assistance.

Expert:  Alicia_MSW replied 1 year ago.

Hello, I'm very sorry but I was away from my desk and only just saw your request for a phone call now. I am not available today for a call but if there's anything you'd like to discuss further I can send you an offer for extra time to chat (privately) via email, or we can continue here if you like. Just let me know what you'd prefer to do. Best wishes.