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Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21336
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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Cher, I hope you're well. Not sure if you remember or

Customer Question

Hi Cher, I hope you're well. Not sure if you remember or still have a copy of the email I sent you a few months ago regarding the relationship issues I had with my Italian boyfriend so please let me know if you need me to resend the details to refresh
your memory? I ended the relationship just under 2 weeks ago because things didn't change and I didn't feel there was any point in staying. I just wanted to ask for advice with something to do with the post breakup. We recently went to Madrid for a long weekend
and he used his Italian bank card to pay for everything as he would not get charged any interest. I still owe him the money for my share and he has a few clothes of mine that I'd like to get back. I also have a few of his belongings which I'd like to give
back to him. I actually ended things over the phone as I didn't want to see him in person. He was calm and collected, speaking in a low tone. I asked him to email me with the amount I owe him but he hasn't yet. I was thinking of not contacting him for at least
a month after the break up to try and organise everything but family members and friends think I should get it out of the way and ask him to drop my things off at my dad's office in London and to let me know how much I know him asap so that I don't have it
hanging over my head. I just wanted to ask your advice as to whether you agree with my friends and family or if you think I should wait a month and whether I should arrange to meet him or not? Many thanks, Joanna
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.

Hi, Joanna!

Of course I remember you!

I'm sorry things didn't work out, but the way things were going, I think it's all for the best and admire you for making that decision!

I would give him a little more time to respond to your email and if you don't get a response, either send him nothing or try to estimate what your portion of the expenses is, and send him a check. As far as exchanging things you have at each others' places, I do think it's a good idea to make the exchange at your dad's office in London and to not see him.

If you hear nothing back from him, I'd give it the month's time and then proceed with the plan I mentioned above. On the one hand, while you and your family don't want this hanging over your head and want it done with, asap, it's really your choice based on your feelings and either way is fine.

I think you've come out of this stronger and better for the life experience!

The next time you want request me by name (if you need to! : )), I'd appreciate it if you could please post in the 'General' category, start your post with my name, as you did, here, and also write, 'Please Leave in General.' Thanks!

Take good care, Joanna and I sent you my warmest regards,


Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Cher,Thank you for your speedy response. The only problem I have with regards ***** ***** him a cheque is that I don't know his postal address. I guess that if I'm going to write to him to arrange to get my things back then I might as well ask him for his address too. Does that make sense?Just to clarify, I haven't actually written to him. I just mentioned him letting me know how much I owe him but it wasn't actually confirmed as I was on my lunch break and didn't have all the time in the world to talk. I hope that makes more sense?Many thanks
Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.

Hi again, Joanna and you're most welcome!

Thanks for your prompt reply, as well, with some additional information.

Yes, I think it makes perfect sense to ask for his postal address at the same time you write to arrange to get your things back. Thanks for clarifying........I thought you already had sent him an email asking about the amount and were awaiting a reply.

So, as I mentioned, give him a few days from when you last spoke to him about this and if you don't get a reply, write your actual email asking for both things--getting your things back and how much you owe him/his postal address and see if, when, how he replies, then, your next move will be based on that.

Warmest regards,