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I have a question about my relationship. I am a woman, 52yrs

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Hi, I have a question...
Hi, I have a question about my relationship. I am a woman, 52yrs old. I have been divorced for numerous years. Self sufficient. My bf of 1 yr., is retired never been married. most of the time we get along great. I stay at his house 50% of the time. He will not come to my place to visit. He says there if more room at his house. I am used to working through a argument. He will call the relationship off. Then after a few days talk about it. This has hurt me every time.
After the last one I broke all contact with him for a week. During that time he has sent numerous mean emails to me. Now he has contacted, saying that he does not want to lose me. and would like me to move in with him. He also has said that I can take time off if I want to see if I can find someone else. And that he will wait for me. I told him that I would like more affection from him and for him to talk to me not just say it Over after arguing. He said to take my time before making my mind up, he will wait. He said he loves me. My family and friends really dont like him. I love him. I am torn what to do.
Submitted: 2 years ago.Category: Relationship
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Answered in 37 minutes by:
10/18/2015
Counselor: DrJackiePhD, Doctor replied 2 years ago
DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD, Doctor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 368
Experience: I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.
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Hi there,

I'm Dr. Jackie, an interpersonal communication researcher/professor and relationship expert. And I am so sorry you are going through all of this.

First, I would like to ask a question or two in order to get more information in order to better answer you. You said that your friends and family do not like him. Why is that? How much have they interacted with him? I am asking this because usually there is something to it if friends and family don't like him. The reason is because they can see things the person in love cannot because they can be objective. So if you can fill in these blanks, I will have a better idea of the whole picture.

Second, you do not like the way he handles conflict. Well, there is only about a 1% chance of change. Unless there is a life-altering event like a near-death experience, tragedy of a loved one, etc., things won't change.

Third, what are you willing to live with? He is not going to change (without counseling), and your family and r

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Counselor: DrJackiePhD, Doctor replied 2 years ago

(sorry I am having huge computer issues) friends are not going to change their minds overnight either.l

If you can answer, I will be able to provide you a better answer!

Thanks,

--Dr. Jackie

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Customer reply replied 2 years ago
My family has only seen him a few times. During those times he's very friendly and personable. They know more from me what I have shared with them. As for friends the know his personality, he's quick to get mad with people. And is opinionated about them. His former profession was police officer. So he's very critical towards people. I have been told by friends to leave him. He has never been aggressive with me. So I do see all sides of him they don't. I do him,
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
I know he won't change, we have talked about that. He has asked my to be more forceful in telling my option about stuff. I can do that, it will be different for me. I am normally easy going on purpose. But I can be more aggressive.
I know living with him will be trying at times. I think if I do that it, I will keep my place too. Just in case I need go.
Counselor: DrJackiePhD, Doctor replied 2 years ago

I will send you my phone and Skype information so that you have it since it looks like you requested a phone call chat. I'm between things right now...I do have some time this evening. Monday is pretty full except from about 4:30-5:30. Tuesday is flexible. I'll also try to respond tonight on what you just wrote. :)

Best,

--Dr. Jackie

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Customer reply replied 2 years ago
Dr. Jackie, I am sorry I can't wait for Monday. With all that's happened in just the last few hours, it will be too late. Thank you
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