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DrJackiePhD, Doctor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 368
Experience:  I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.
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I've just split up from a relationship that progressed

Customer Question

Hi I've just split up from a relationship that progressed to quickly really however now he's texting me again so I asked have I got a chance of us getting to know each other and he replyed I don't mind chatting for now and then I replyed Well would you
mind us getting to know each other n taking things slow, and be replyed ok texting is fine for now I'm unsure how to take or think of this
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  DrJackiePhD replied 2 years ago.


I'm Dr. Jackie, an interpersonal communication scholar/professor and relationship expert. And I think if we can take the message at face value, he is agreeing that both of you communicate via text right now and start to really get to know the other person. Please do not read into this too much. Most people unfortunately have a difficult time interpreting texts and for a good reason. We do not have body language, facial expressions, and even tone and voice inflection to help us understand the meaning behind the other person's words. So if you do decide to keep communicating, try to be as clear and detailed as possible and try to avoid anything that could have multiple meanings.

Just try as much as possible to "go with the flow" and truly this time get to know what the other person's interests are and what the other person likes and dislikes. Often we tend to overthink texts, and the "overthinking" is what causes us to miscommunicate.

Please let me know if this helps and/or if you would like to discuss this further. Also, I'll send you my phone and Skype information so that you have it.


--Dr. Jackie

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Would you say everything he's said tho it's positive
Expert:  DrJackiePhD replied 2 years ago.

Hi again,

I don't know him of course, so I can't say with certainty that everything is positive. However, it definitely seems a lot more positive than negative. If he didn't want to get to know you better after you suggested it, then it would be really, REALLY unlikely that he would even want to text. And the fact that he said that it is "fine for now" indicates that once you are taking it slow and truly getting to know each other's personalities better and your interests, etc., that maybe you can take it to the next level and go out on dates/hang out, etc.

You didn't say who broke it off. But if he did the breaking up (or it was mutual), the fact that he wants to text is definitely a positive. If he were so hurt or angry that he didn't want to be around you, he surely would not have indicated that you two can text.

So try to enjoy getting to know one another again, this time more slowly. And hopefully you will progress enough that you can go out and do activities together.

I hope that helps! Please let me know!


--Dr. Jackie

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
He broke it up as he felt scared as it was going to fast, I'm
Hoping it's positive I left him all weekend without texting him then he text me mon saying I've been thinking of you today that's why I've text you, n he's said he's happy to text at the min but doesn't want to promise anything
Expert:  DrJackiePhD replied 2 years ago.

Hi Again,

I am happy that he is indicating he can text and is "happy" to text. I think you were very smart to not text over the weekend and wait for his text. Sometimes with "excessive texting" from an individual, the other person can feel smothered, even if that was not your intent. So giving him space was very wise and mature, and it sounds like he is willing to go more slowly. It is positive--I have seen quite a few couples where one person felt pushed or like they were going too fast and the person was NOT willing to communicate again with the other person. So I think you have a great chance as long as you remember to keep is at nice, slow pace. :-)

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
What does he mean by texting is fine for now
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
He sent me these texts today
I know how nice you are you don't need to prove anything xxMy thoughts would never change xxGood don't want to see you upset what will be will be x